After All These Years
by Bella43
Summary: It has been 20 years since Edward left Bella in the forest. After a birthday celebration, Bella finds herself lost in her memories of Edward. What would happen if he returned "after all these years?"
1. Chapter 1

After All These Years

Setting: 20 years after Edward leaves in New Moon.

Chapter 1

Unlike some people, I loved washing dishes. It was the time that I allowed my mind to wander freely; the time where I replayed the day in my head; the time when I allowed memories to wash over me. Maybe it was the warm water. Maybe it was the feeling of washing everything away. Maybe it was that the window over the sink faced the forest and brought Edward back to my mind each day.

I didn't push Edward from my mind anymore. The first year after he left, I couldn't even think of him without clutching myself in physical pain. I couldn't bear to say his name…couldn't bear to hear it. But that had changed over the years. I welcomed the memories now. For me, there would never be another love. I knew I had found my one true love as a young women. I knew Edward was the only piece that could complete me. Twenty years later, I still loved him.

Tonight, Edward was so clear in my mind. Jacob and his family and surprised me with a birthday cake. It was the first birthday since Charlie had died and they didn't want me to be alone. I preferred to skip over birthday celebrations. Like most women, the thought of getting older was offensive, but for me birthdays also signified the end. The end of Edward and me-----the memory of my eighteenth birthday party at the Cullen's was one of my blackest memories.

Jake and I remained best friends all these years. He imprinted on Anna when he was nineteen and they were married shortly after. Life had changed for Jacob after the Cullens left Forks. He no longer shape shifted. There was no need. Once in a great while, he would tell me that he smelled a sweet smell in the air, warning me to be careful. I think he thought it would scare me. It never did. I only hoped that meant that an old friend was passing by, or more importantly, Edward was near.

As I washed and dried the last plate, I replayed Jacob's last words to me tonight. "Lock up good tonight, Bells. I smell a strong sweetness in the air." He had no idea how I wished that were true.

I hung the dishtowel to dry and went out on the back stoop, staring at the forest. It was dark, but it didn't scare me. Before turning in for the night I spoke out loud, "Good night, Edward. I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I still kept the bedroom at the top of the stairs. I had repainted and gotten new furniture along the years. But in all those years, I never replaced the mattress. It was there that we talked for hours; there that he held me, and that we kissed. It was worn now, and honestly my back would most definitely benefit from a new mattress. I just couldn't part with it.

I got ready for bed and turned on the bedside lamp. I opened my window a crack, like I had every night since he left. Then I took out my journal. I always wrote in it on nights that I felt particularly preoccupied with memories. I learned years ago that writing my thoughts down would often ward off the nightmares I had so often. Somehow I wasn't sure it would help tonight. My journal, like anything else about my life, was not a typical journal. I actually wrote letters to Edward. I had filled over a dozen blank books with letters to him. Maybe someday, when I was gone, he would read them and understand the depth of my love for him. He would know that I figured out why he really left and that I eventually forgave him. Tonight was a night I knew I needed to write to him. And so I began…

My Dearest Edward,

I've missed you so much today. It's my birthday. I turned thirty-eight today. That means it is almost 20 years to the day since you've been gone. I never would have believed that I would be without you after all these years. On days like today, I still feel the hole in my chest. I know it was your love for me that allowed you to leave. But, I wonder, do you still think of me? I love you, Edward...as much now as ever before.

I stopped there because tears were making it difficult to write. I cried myself softly to sleep.

Shortly afterwards, the nightmare began. It was always the same when it came. Wandering in the forest. Calling out his name. Crying. Never finding him. Feeling so alone. And then…waking up in a cold sweat, sobbing for what I would never have again.

I tried to calm myself, counting my breaths, in and out.

Then I heard his voice, "Bella."

I sat upright and looked around the room. It was empty, of course. But, I didn't feel alone in the room. Oh, God. Tonight was particularly bad. I was having delusions again. It was years since I had heard the delusions this clearly. I tried to concentrate harder. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…

I felt a cool breeze in the room and instinctively pulled the blanket higher to my chin.

"Edward?" I whispered into the dark room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I waited in the dark as if I truly expected his answer. Of course, there was no answer. I flopped back on my pillow. How many years would I do this to myself? Forever. I would do this forever, because that is how long I would go on loving him. During the day, I was always more rational. I knew that he was never coming back and I had come to terms with it. Bella the widow. That's how I saw myself. But the nights were the times that I still held out hope. Hope that the seventeen year old boy that I loved would one day walk back into my life. "Oh, Bella," I sighed aloud. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing once more. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out….

I startled when I heard the alarm go off. I had fallen back asleep? I looked at the clock, groaning, it was 8:30. I would have to open up the store by ten. But, it was Saturday and it was a short day. I only kept the store open until 5 on Saturdays.

I had owned the bookstore for ten years now. Bella's Books, not a very creative name, I know, but it had been a welcome addition to Forks. The nearest bookstore was in Port Angeles and our small library was limited in selection. The store not only filled my need for books, but it also made a modest profit. Most importantly it had let me make my life in Forks permanent.

As much as Charlie had loved having me in Forks, he had encouraged me to leave when it was time to go off to college. Instead I went to the community college and got a two-year degree in business. For the next eight years I kept the books for Newton's Sporting Goods. It didn't pay a lot, but then I didn't need a lot either. Charlie kept hoping I'd take a job in Seattle. I knew he thought if he could get me away from Forks, I'd find someone and start a family like my friends had. I knew that would never happen, no matter where I was. And honestly, I just figured, if Edward ever did come back, I'd be here waiting for him.

And so for the past ten years, I had rented the store right next to Newton's Sporting Goods. As I unlocked the door for the day, I smiled taking in the old store. Beautiful hardwood flooring gleamed in the rare sunlight coming through the front picture windows, the smell of lemon oil coming off the polished wood bookcases, colorful book jackets decorating tabletops and display stands. This was my other home.

A couple of years ago I started having book clubs meet at the store. Reading was my passion and I had made some wonderful friends at these book talks. Angela was always a regular and often Jessica would join the group as well. Angela had married Ben and had both a boy and a girl. Jessica and Mike had also married and had three boys. I was a godmother to Angela's daughter and Jessica's youngest son. For several years, they both tried to set me up on dates, before they finally gave up and let me be Bella. Just Bella.

The day moved quickly. I had a children's story hour in the morning, a teen book club at noon, and a large UPS shipment of new Stephenie Meyer books to check in and set out for display. In between, I helped customers find books on everything from romance classics to the latest low fat cookbook. I loved my job. I loved my store. I loved my friends. I smiled looking around. Life was pretty good after all, I thought.

It was getting close to five and I was just finishing up the Stephenie Meyer display when I took a look around to see who was still left in the store. There was a pregnant woman looking at a book on baby names, a mom and her son deciding on a Dr. Seuss book and someone wearing a hooded sweatshirt in the philosophy section.

"All set?" I asked as I rang out the mom and her son. He had chosen _Horton Hears a Who_. "An excellent choice." I said handing the mother a flyer advertising our weekly story hour. "Put your hoods up, " I told them looking out the window at the pouring rain.

I noticed that the pregnant woman had exited, leaving only one person in the store. It was just about five so I said out loud, "I'm going to be closing up in a few minutes, if you need more time, I 'm open from 10-8 on Monday."

Ring Ring

"Bella's Books" I said, answering the phone.

"Bella-It's Jake. Are you alright?"

"Of course. Why do you ask?"

" I drove through town an hour or so ago. I just know there are bloodsuckers around. I can't get that crazy sweet smell out of my nose. I'm wondering if I should pick you up and make sure you get home alright."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jake. I'm fine. You stay put with your family. I'm just about to lock up here and head home for some dinner and a good book. I'll call you when I get home, ok?"

"OK. But be aware of your surroundings, alright?"

"You're a good friend, Jake." I said hanging up the phone.

I turned around to see my last customer staring at his books on the counter, the black hood still covering his head. "Did you find what you needed?" I asked.

He lifted his head, and looked into my eyes, "Yes……I did." He said emotionally.

I stared back into his eyes…so golden. I gasped. "Edward?"

He looked up from under his dark lashes, pushing the hood from his tussled bronze hair. He nodded. "It's me Bella. I'm sorry-- I know I shouldn't be here. If you tell me to leave, I'll be gone."

I was dumbstruck. Was this real? Was I hallucinating? I couldn't remember how to talk. I was trying desperately to remain standing upright. Trying to remember how to breathe. The tears came on their own, but even that couldn't break my stare.

"Are you ok, Bella? Should I leave?" he whispered unsure of himself.

I reached up to touch his cheek. I needed to feel for myself that there was actually a person standing in front of my and not just an apparition. He felt so cold, so hard, so perfectly Edward. "No" I managed to croak out, "Don't go."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The pounding in my chest was so loud that I knew Edward could hear it. My breaths were coming fast and I was starting to see spots in front of my eyes. I grasped the chair behind me and sat, quickly putting my head between my knees.

"It's ok, Bella. You're just hyperventilating. Breathe into this." He said, handing me a paper bag from under the counter. After a short time I was able to sit up again.

I looked up at him. I had so many question, so many thoughts. I didn't know what to say or where to begin. The tears silently trickled down my cheeks again.

He knelt in front of me, wiping my tears away with his cool fingers. "Don't be sad, Bella. Please, I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you any more than I already have."

I shook my head then, a little laugh hitching in my throat.

"What?" Edward asked curiously. "Why is that funny?"

I didn't answer immediately and he groaned, running his fingers through his hair. "I forgot how frustrating it is to never be able to hear what you're thinking. I can be patient." He said more to himself than to me.

"I'm not sad, Edward. I think shock would be the more appropriate word, here. Would you understand if I said that I'm crying because I'm so unbelievably happy that you are standing here, but also so petrified that you might vanish if I look away?"

He gently gripped my forearms and pulled me up into a loose embrace, all the while never letting his eyes leave mine. "Bella. I'm not going anywhere. This is exactly where I want to be, where I need to be."

I put my arms around him this time, burying my nose in his chest. I breathed in his wonderful, intoxicating smell. I had never smelled anything as good as Edward smelled. I knew I could stay here forever, but I wanted to look at his face. I had spent years trying to remember the beauty of his face. My dreams didn't do him justice. He looked more godlike than I had even remembered.

He looked down at me seriously. "Let's find a place to sit, Bella. We have a lot of catching up to do."

I led him to a small sitting area in the back of the store. After I sat down, Edward pulled another chair close to mine and sat facing me. He took mine hands in his and stared at me for a while. The deep pools of honey that were his eyes and the sweet smell of his breath already had me mesmerized. He smiled sweetly and then he spoke.

"So, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here."

I nodded silently.

"Bella," he sighed, "When I left Forks, I left because I thought it was the best thing for you. I thought it was your only chance to have a safe, fully human, happy life. If I had a heart, I truly think it would have stopped beating that day. My days and nights were an ugly, agonizing blur. For over a year, I stayed away from my family and from any form of communication. I wanted to see no one, to hear no one. I wanted no contact with the civilized world. I spent my days hiking and hunting and my nights praying that God was watching over you, keeping you safe. I prayed that someday you would come to realize why I had to leave.

About a year after I left, Alice and Carlisle came to find me. They talked me into leaving with them. Carlisle and Esme were going to go to Africa to deliver medicine and offer medical services. He needed another physician and thought I could finally put my medical degrees to work. Maybe that was just the distraction I needed to temper the pain that never seemed to leave my body. So I went with him and poured myself into my work. But I never stopped thinking of you, not one day did you ever escape my thoughts."

He paused for a moment and then started talking again.

"And so that's where I've been for the majority of the time, traveling around Africa helping open medical centers and training medical staff. Carlisle did all the research so that I never had to go near a computer. The only news I got about the states would come from my family. Alice and Jasper visited frequently, and even though I asked her not to bring me any news about Forks, she would always leave behind information about you."

That surprised me, and I interrupted him. "Information? Like what?"

"Oh, you know, newspaper clippings, graduation programs, photographs…"

": What? How did she…"

"Bella, You couldn't know this of course. But Alice has attended many of your big milestones. She was at both of your graduations, the grand opening of your store, Charlie's funeral…she was even here tonight."

"What…when?" My mouth hung open, trying to replay the customers that had been in the store that day.

"Did you see the pregnant woman in here just before closing? That was Alice. She's a very convincing actress. And, as you probably remember she's a pretty good make-up artist, too. She has always loved you, too, Bella. She honored my decision, but I don't ever think she quite forgave me for making her give up her best friend."

I shook my head not knowing what to say. I was trying hard to understand everything that was happening tonight and hoping to God that this was not just some cruel dream.

"I know, it's a lot to take in, Bella." he said rubbing small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Edward," I said, looking straight in the eyes, "you still haven't told me why you are here."

He tilted his head and smiled that crooked smile I loved. "I just couldn't do it anymore."

"Couldn't do what?" I asked not understanding.

"I couldn't stay away anymore. When Alice told me about Charlie's death I just about got on a plane and came back right then. But, I knew what a tough time you were probably going through and I didn't want to add to the stress and unhappiness you were already feeling. So, I came back to the states and researched everything I could about you. I even hired a private investigator to make sure there wasn't a husband or boyfriend in your life. When I had all the information I needed, Alice and I started coming back to the old house and getting it ready to be lived in once more."

"Tonight is not your first night back in Forks? Why, did you wait to come see me?"

He sighed, "Because even though I technically knew everything about you, I didn't know how you would feel about seeing me. And so, I fell back on an old habit." He smiled.

I wasn't getting what he meant.

"You really should lock that bedroom window, you know, "he said still smiling.

"You've been watching me sleep again?"

He nodded waiting for my reaction.

"Edward, were you in my room last night?"

"Yes. You had a nightmare. And from what I could tell, it involved me."

"Did you say my name out loud last night?"

"Yes…you were so upset I wanted to comfort you. But as soon as I said it I got scared. I wasn't ready yet. I couldn't gauge how you'd react."

I sat quietly trying to process everything. I jumped as I heard the front door to the shop bang open.

"BELLA, BELLA…. WHERE ARE YOU?" Jake's voice boomed.

I got up and ran towards the front of the store.

"Jake, I'm right here. What's the matter? Is everything ok?" I asked.

"NO, DAMN IT. EVERYTHING IS NOT OK!"he boomed. 'I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU."

"Why?" I asked? And then I remembered I had promised Jake I would call him as soon as I had gotten home. "Oh, Jake, oh I'm so sorry. I'm fine really. See?" I asked holding me arms out.

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, it's just well, damn it ….you weren't answering your phone either. I guess I let my imagination get the best of me. Why are you still here, anyway, Bells? It's late." He finished his question while enveloping me in a hug. And then pulled away suddenly, "No offense, Bella, but you kind of stink."

Then it hit him. I saw the realization cross his mind. His eyes darted around the store and his fists clenched upon seeing Edward. "What the hell are you doing here?" He yelled.

**Hi, Readers….Don't forget to review!!!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to all of you who have been reading!!!! Please make sure to comment.

Chapter 5

"It's been a long time, Jacob." Edward said calmly.

"Not long enough, if you ask me." Jake replied harshly.

"Jake, it's probably best if you go. I'm ok, really." I said, trying to avoid what I knew could be an ugly confrontation.

He ignored me. His anger was getting the best of him. His face had already turned red, his hands were in tight fists, and his body was visibly shaking. For a moment I wondered if it was possible that he could actually shift shape right in the store. "How long are you staying?" he growled at Edward.

"As long as Bella wants me to stay." Edward answered.

"Bella doesn't always know what is best for her. I suggest you head out the door and go back to where you've spent the last 2 decades." Jake seethed.

"Jake!" I said obviously angry.

He turned and looked at me. "Stay out of this, Bella. He has no right being here."

"No, Jake. YOU, stay out of this. This is my store and I decide who has the right to be here. I am perfectly capable of handling myself with Edward."

He laughed angrily. "Yeah, I remember very clearly how well you handled yourself the last time that filthy bloodsucker was here. The catatonic look wasn't so attractive on you, Bells."

Now I was really angry. "Don't go there, Jake."

Edward spoke up, "Bella, Maybe I should go. We can finish our talk tomorrow."

I turned on my heel, facing Edward. "Don't you dare go anywhere, Edward Cullen!" I said raising my voice.

I turned to Jake poking him in the chest, "You, Jacob need to leave, NOW."

"Bella, don't be angry with Jake." Edward interrupted. "He's just trying to protect you. I understand that." Edward continued, "I'm not going to hurt her Jacob."

Jacob laughed angrily, "Yea, where have I heard that one before?"

Jacob turned and looked at me. "I will have my phone on all night. If he so much as even makes you feel one ounce of discomfort, you call me. I will personally escort his sorry ass out of Forks."

Then turning to Edward, "I'll be watching you, Leech." He stormed out of the store leaving us standing there.

We stood in silence for a while, both not knowing how to proceed. My growling stomach finally broke the silence.

"It's time to get some food into the human," Edward laughed.

"Yeah, like I could eat right now." I said.

"Seriously, Bella. Let me take you out for a nice dinner."

"Honestly, Edward, I would rather just go home and heat up some leftovers if you don't mind."

"Oh, ok." He said. He seemed disappointed, though I couldn't understand why.

I walked around the store, turning off all the lights, before we headed out the door. I double-checked the lock, like I always did and then turned towards the parking lot. My car was the only one left. "Where's your car?" I asked him.

"With Alice."

" Oh, do you want to drive with me then?" I asked.

"No, Bella. It's ok, I'll just run home."

I looked at him puzzled. "Home? Aren't you coming with me?"

He tilted his head, processing my question, "Do you want me to come home with you? I thought you didn't want to have dinner with me."

"I never said that, Edward. I said I wanted to eat at home. And if my memory serves me correctly, we've actually never eaten dinner together."

He laughed at that. "Well then, allow me to rephrase. Would you like to have the pleasure of my company while you are eating your human meal, Miss Swan?"

"Why, Mr. Cullen. I thought you'd never ask." We both laughed as he walked around to the passenger side and got in my car.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The ride home went quickly as Edward and I made small talk about the weather and my "new" car. I had driven the big red monster longer than I thought possible, but it just never died until about five years ago. My "new" car was actually not so new and both Charlie and Jake had given me a lot of grief for buying it. Not because it wasn't a good car, no in fact it was a great car, even though it was already old. But that wasn't the reason they hated it. The real reason they hated my car was because it was a 2003 Silver S60R Volvo, the exact model Edward had driven when he was here in Forks. Edward, on the other hand, was getting quite a kick out of me driving it.

"Do you have an aversion to new vehicles, Bella?" He laughed when he saw it.

I must have looked as embarrassed as I was feeling, because he suddenly got more serious, "Bella, I'm kidding. I'm flattered, really. Honestly, I wouldn't have even guessed that you had been paying attention to what make or model I drove. You never cease to surprise me."

When we finally got inside the house, I went straight to the kitchen to scrounge up some leftovers. Edward was checking out the renovations I had done to the house. "You did a really nice job decorating in here, Bella. Your personality really comes through."

"Thanks," I mumbled. I still wasn't the greatest at accepting compliments but it pleased me that he liked what I had done.

He walked over to the living room, looking at the artwork on the walls, stopping to stare at the painting hanging over the couch.

"That's my favorite." I said watching him from the kitchen.

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked softly.

I nodded, "Umhm- Angela painted it for me."

"It's still there?" he asked incredulously. "It still looks like this?"

I nodded again. "I go there when I need to think. I took Angela with me one day. She was curious about the place I was always running off to. On the way up, I told her the reasons I loved it so much. She surprised me with the painting a few weeks later."

"She's very talented."

"Yes, she is. In fact, most of my artwork is Angela's."

He continued staring at the painting. I joined him in front of it now. "I never got to finish telling you why I'm here," he said, eyes still transfixed on the picture.

I waited silently for him to continue. But instead of finishing his thought he said, "Can we go there now?"

"To the meadow?" I clarified.

He nodded.

"Edward, it's dark." I said.

"I know. I just really want to see it. Do you mind?" He asked.

"Edward, it'll take us hours to get there. We won't be able to see where we're going. You do remember I have coordination issues…Are you trying to kill me?"

"Silly, Bella." he laughed, " Do you think I'd make you walk? Besides, running in the dark is my specialty." He smiled that smile I love and I knew I couldn't turn him down.

"OK." I agreed, "Just let me let me finish up here and change my clothes." I finished my dinner and washed the plate, then headed upstairs to change. Edward called Alice to tell her his plans for the night. That made me laugh since I was sure she already knew the moment we had decided.

I changed into a pair of jeans and a white long sleeved t-shirt. I pulled on a fleece top and found my hiking shoes before I headed back down the stairs. I was actually feeling excited about this trek. My favorite place in the whole world was the meadow...our meadow. I was looking forward to seeing it under the night sky.

Edward convinced me to let him drive us to the trail. His driving speed still petrified me, which he sensed. He looked over at me and smiled, "Built in radar, "he said tapping his forehead, "Remember?"

I smiled back, nodding. I still couldn't believe he was here, sitting right next to me. I stared at him as he drove. He hadn't changed at all. His skin was flawless and smooth. He was still so breathtakingly beautiful. It was like looking at the face of an angel. He hadn't aged at all. I wished I could say the same about myself. But the fact was that I had aged. I wasn't a teenager anymore. My face had some laugh lines now and the other day I had actually found my first gray hair. I sighed.

Edward frowned. "You're so quiet, Bella. What are you thinking about?"

"Just trying to take everything in that's happened today." I leaned my head back on the seat, still staring at him.

He smiled at me and reached for my hand. "You're tired. I shouldn't have pushed you to do this tonight. Do you want me to turn around? We can come back in the morning if you'd rather."

"No, I actually am looking forward to this. As many times as I've come, I've never been here at night." I answered.

The highway ended, and Edward pulled the car to the side of the road. We both got out and started towards the dark forest.

"Do you remember the way?" I asked.

"Like the back of my hand." He replied. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." I swallowed.

"Come on then, get up on my back."

He reached for me and helped me up. My heart reacted to his touch as it always had before. His smile let me know that the pounding in my chest had not gone unnoticed. I clamped my arms and legs tightly around him.

"It's been a while for you, Bella. I think you should close your eyes on the way up."

He obviously hadn't forgotten our first run and how dizzy the speed had made me. I hadn't either for that matter. I nodded my agreement. And then we were running.

I kept my eyes tightly shut and my body wound around his. The movement was so smooth that if not for the feel of the wind, I'm not sure I would've known that I was moving. I opened my eyes partway through the run, only to shut them just as tightly as before. I had forgotten just how fast Edward could move. But then it was over.

"Bella, you can open your eyes now. We're here."

I opened my eyes but couldn't see anything. The forest was pitch black. He unloosened my hold on his neck and pulled into a standing position next to him. He started to walk forward and I grasped his arm, stumbling as I walked into the blackness. He lifted me then and carried me a few steps until the moonlight broke through the trees, setting me down at the edge of the forest.

It was beautiful as usual, but in a completely different way. The moon hung directly over the small round meadow, as if God had placed it there just for tonight. A gentle breeze stirred the grass and crickets were playing their lullaby.

"Beautiful." Edward whispered.

"It is," I agreed.

"I wasn't referring to the meadow, Bella. I was talking about you."

I turned to look at him, feeling the blush on my face. He smiled and touched my cheekbone. "God, I've missed that blush."

We were standing so close. My skin felt tingly like electrical currents were bouncing between us. His eyes were fixed on mine and I could smell the sweetness of his breath.

"Bella," he started in barely a whisper, "I need to tell you why I came back to Forks now." He looked so serious that it scared me.

"Ok, " I nodded, swallowing.

"Bella," he said cupping my face in his hands, holding my eyes to his gaze, " I love you. I've always loved you. And, I can't be without you one more day. That's why I'm here." His hands left my face and came to rest of my arms, holding me gently. He looked tenderly into my eyes. I knew he was waiting for me to speak.

I stared at him for a long time. The tears came silently before any words. He waited patiently knowing I was trying to process what he had just told me. I didn't think I could form any words. But I did know how I felt. I rose up on my tiptoes and took his face in my hands. Slowly, carefully I pressed my lips to his cold marble lips. I felt him stiffen slightly, but I wasn't going to let him go. I had waited too long for this day. I pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. He gently pushed me back from him. "Bella, he said raggedly, " It's still dangerous. You can't forget what I am."

"I haven't forgotten, Edward. I just don't care how dangerous it is."

He shook his head, looking at me incredulously, "Some things never change. "

"Edward, my whole life has been dangerous. I'm not worried."

"You should be," he said solemnly. "You still smell more enticing to me than anything in this world."

"Has it been hard for you tonight?" I asked. "Being near me, I mean?"

"Yes, but I've been gradually exposing myself to your scent each night when I visit, so it's not as bad as it could be. The first night I came into your room was the worst so I stayed only a few minutes. Each night I increased the time, until I could tolerate the burn."

I bit my bottom lip. I had always hated knowing I caused him pain.

"Don't look so sad, Bella. It'll get easier, the longer we're together." He lifted my wrist to his nose and inhaled deeply. "See, easier all the time." He smiled.

"Now," he smiled slightly, "I want to hear your thoughts."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Edward took off his sweatshirt and spread it on the ground for me to sit on. I sat down cross-legged and rested my head in my hands. My thoughts? Where did I even begin? I shook my head.

Edward sat facing me, trying to give me some time to sort things through. "We don't have to talk anymore tonight, if you're too tired, Bella. You haven't had a lot of time to process all of this. You can have all the time you need."

I looked up at him. I was tired. In fact, I was outright exhausted, not just because of how late it was, but because of the barrage of emotions I had been through the past few hours. I really didn't feel like talking anymore, especially since it was apparently my turn to do the talking. I knew he loved me and that was all that really mattered. What I really wanted to do now was crawl into Edward's lap and just fall asleep in his arms. But a part of me worried, if I fell asleep, would he really still be here when I awoke?

"Edward," I spoke softly, "I'm not going to pretend to know what all of this means. All I can tell you is that I love you more than anything in this entire world…I've never stopped loving you. Is that enough for tonight?"

"It's enough for forever." He answered emotionally, gently kissing my forehead.

I lay my head down in his lap. His hand softly stroked my hair away from my face. For the first time in years, I felt perfectly and blissfully content. Edward was back and he wanted me. He still loved me…after all these years. I didn't know what our future would hold, or even what tomorrow would bring……..

I flinched. Something was tickling my face. I swiped my hand across my cheek and tried to convince my eyes to open. It was so bright.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." A voice whispered.

I blinked in the sunlight, trying to gain focus as Edward's face came into view. I smiled. "You're here." I said and then softly gasped. " Oh, I forgot how beautiful you are in the sun." His skin shimmered and rainbows danced around him.

"Do I still dazzle you?" he laughed.

I smiled sitting up, "Completely."

I couldn't even begin to imagine what I looked like after sleeping on the ground all night. I was stiff, hungry and really needed a bathroom. "Edward, I need some human amenities. Do you think we could head home?"

"Sure. You ready for a morning run?" he asked tying his sweatshirt around his waist.

I nodded and without hesitation, he tossed me up on his back. I wasn't taking any chances, so I shut my eyes tightly once again. I held on strongly and he began to run. I loved the feel of my body pressed against him. I nuzzled my face into his cold, hard back and softly placed a kiss there. My heart sputtered in reaction to where my thoughts were leading.

I felt us slow up and finally opened my eyes. He was walking now and I could hear the sounds of the highway. I lightly rubbed my hands down the length his back, feeling the definition of his body. I retraced my movements then slowly ran my hands up and down the length of his arms. I felt him shudder. "Careful, Bella," he said grabbing me gently and standing me upright.

I didn't want to be careful. And I said so, "No!"

"No?" he questioned.

"No, Edward. I will not be careful. I've been careful for thirty -eight years. Where has being careful gotten me?" I said defiantly. "I finally have you back and let me tell you something, being careful is the last thing on my mind."

His jaw set in a line and without responding, he grabbed my hand and walked me towards the car. "I will not risk hurting you," he said seriously.

I laughed an angry laugh, "You're kidding me right?" I said. And then it was as if the walls all came tumbling down. "Edward, you risked that twenty years ago. You leaving me was the worst hurt I could ever possibly endure." I could see the pain in his eyes but I couldn't stop. "Nothing, nothing could ever hurt worse then that did. No physical pain could ever measure up to that."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. And I'll spend your entire lifetime trying to make it up to you. I only left because…"

"Stop, Edward." I interrupted. "I know why you left. And I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just know what I want." I said leaning in close to him.

"I still won't risk your life."he said with resolve..

"You're not risking my life. I am." I responded. And then I kissed him.

He started to pull back away, but I wasn't going to have that. I braided my fingers into his hair and held him closer. Pressing my lips more firmly against his. He made a soft growl into my mouth and for a moment kissed me back more deeply before I felt him go unresponsive. He pushed me back gently and took a deep breath.

"What am I going to do with you, Bella?" he asked shaking his head.

"I have some ideas, "I smiled devilishly.

He continued to shake his head as we walked to the car. We drove most of the way in silence, until my cell phone rang. I glanced at the incoming number, confirming my guess that it was Jake.

I flipped the phone open, "Hey." I said.

"Hey, yourself. I was just at your house. Where are you?" Jacob asked.

"I'm on my way home right now." I answered.

"Are you alone?" he asked.

"No."

Jacob groaned. "Bella, what are you doing?"

"Having fun." I said.

"Let me guess, he wants you back right?"

"Yes."

"And, you want him?"

"You know that answer, Jake."

"I don't like this, Bella."

"I don't remember asking you." I responded.

There was a pause. "You'll be careful?" he pleaded.

"Oh, for God's sake. I wish people would stop saying that to me today." I huffed.

Edward chuckled, obviously hearing both sides of the conversation.

"Let me talk to him." Jake said roughly.

I handed the phone to Edward.

"What can I do for you, Jake?" Edward asked businesslike.

"Just wanted to remind you that you are still under a treaty." Jake barked.

"I am well aware of that fact." Edward answered impatiently. "Anything else?"

"Nope-I think I made my point perfectly clear." Jake added.

"Crystal." Edward answered, handing the phone back to me.

"Goodbye, Jake. You know this is not your business, right? I said.

"You will always be my business, Bella," he answered back.

Then I flipped the phone closed as Edward pulled the car into my driveway.

"We are far from being finished with this 'being careful' discussion, Edward." I warned turning towards him.

He nodded. Gazing into my eyes he squeezed my hand. "Then I would say we have some very serious decisions to make, my love."

"I agree. But first, I really need a human moment. " I said rushing out of the car.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The hot shower did a great job loosening all the little knots of tension I felt in my body. I felt human again. I laughed at that because in reality I wanted to be totally inhuman, immortal. I needed Edward to change me-the sooner the better. The decision was very clear in my mind now. The problem was that I would need to convince Edward that my decision was the right one.

I wrapped the towel around myself and headed for my room. Disappointed that

Edward wasn't waiting for me in there, I stepped back out into the hall, and called out to him, "Edward?"

"Down here, Bella. You have a visitor." I heard voices, but couldn't make out who exactly Edward was talking to. I hurriedly threw on a clean pair of jeans and a new long sleeved t-shirt, sighing. Our discussion would have to wait.

Heading down the stairs I could make out the familiar ring of Alice's voice. Before I could say a word she ran up and embraced me. "Bella, It's been way too long."

Once again I was crying and at a loss for words. She looked so beautiful and so young, that I instantly felt every one of my thirty-eight years.

"Don't cry, Bella. Everything is going to be ok now. Trust me, " she said hugging me again.

And I did trust her. I always bet on Alice. I smiled, wiping my tears away. "I have missed you so much."

"I missed you, too! Here I brought you a little something," she said handing me a bag.

I groaned. "You didn't have to bring me anything, Alice."

"Of course I did. You just had a birthday, and well, your going to need it tonight."

I was curious now and opened the bag. I reached I and pulled out a beautiful powder blue pashmina shawl. "Oh, Alice, it's beautiful but why am I going to need it tonight? Where am I going?"

She smiled, kissing me on the cheek, "Just trust me, Bella, ok?" Then turning to Edward, "I need you to have her at the house by 5. Don't be late." She said leaving.

I looked at Edward. I was clearly puzzled, which he enjoyed. "Don't ask me, Bella. I promised Alice, I wouldn't give you any hints." he said smiling.

"Now,' he continued suddenly serious, "I need to take care of a couple of things, too." He kissed the top of my nose.

"You're going, too? Why?" My face immediately fell. I didn't want him to leave. I felt like a spoiled child who had just been told they couldn't have candy before dinner.

He smoothed the crease between my brows with his finger. "I'll be back before you know it, "he said heading towards the door.

"Wait, am I supposed to be dressed a certain way for whatever it is we are doing tonight," I asked.

"You are perfect just the way you are, "he said giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek.

I snorted quietly, yeah. Thirty-eight years of perfection, I thought sarcastically.

I set off to occupy myself for the next couple of hours, opening yesterdays mail, starting a load of laundry, washing the plate and cup I had just used this morning. That used up a whole 15 minutes. I needed to do something or I'd throw myself into a panic attack if I let myself imagine what Alice had planned for tonight. Then I knew exactly what I needed to do.

I grabbed my keys and headed out to the car. It was raining lightly now, no big surprise for Forks. The windshield wipers provided the only background noise as I drove to the cemetery. I parked as close as I could to Charlie's headstone and walked the short way through the wet grass. I outlined the carved letters of his name with my fingertip. I really missed him.

"Hi, Dad." I said out loud. I didn't expect any answers. I didn't believe in ghosts, but I always got the sense he heard me when I spoke to him here.

"You know how you always said that you wanted me to find someone? How you wanted me to happy? Well, I think I have that chance again." I paused taking a deep breath.

"Now I don't want you to get all upset about this-so just hear me out, ok? It's Edward. He's back. He loves me, Dad. And, well, I know you've always known how much I love him." I stopped again, searching for the right words.

"There was a lot I was never able to tell you about Edward before. Not, that you would have believed me even if I did tell you. You probably know everything now since you're up there hanging out with your Quileute buddies. I just want you to know that I'm going to have to do something very drastic if I want to have a real life with Edward. Really drastic-you know what I mean. But I want this. I want to be with Edward. OK, Dad?"

The rain had stopped and suddenly I noticed that the sun had peeked through the clouds. And I…I was standing right in a ray of light. I smiled. He was answering me. "Thanks, Dad. I love you." I said kissing his headstone. I walked back to the car feeling happy and more optimistic than I could ever remember feeling about my future.

__________

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	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When I returned to the house. Edward was sitting on the front porch waiting for me. He smiled when I got out of the car and walked over to me. "Hey, I thought I might have to call Alice and tell her you stood me up, "he laughed.

"I just had to go visit someone." I told him smiling.

He didn't press for details. "Do you need to go in for anything?" he asked gesturing towards the house.

"Nope, I'm all set." I patted the pashmina that was folded over my arm.

"Then my chariot awaits you." He said dramatically as he opened the door to a new black sports car. He handed me the bouquet of freesia and wildflowers that had been sitting in my seat. "For you." He said kissing me lightly. My heart flipped on cue and he smiled to let me know he had heard.

"I just need to remind you," Edward said driving, "Alice can go overboard sometimes. She has good intentions, though. Can you just try to enjoy yourself tonight, Bella? Let her have her fun?"

"Ohhh," I groaned. "Is it that bad?"

"I don't think so, " he answered, "But you might."

"I'll behave." I laughed.

"Thank you. This is going to make Alice very happy, Carlisle and Esme, too."

"Carlisle and Esme are going to be there?" I said surprised.

"Yes, they're all waiting to see you."

He drove expertly through the winding path that was his driveway. It wasn't dark yet, but small lights twinkled along the porch rail as the house came into our view. I was amazed at how it looked—so manicured and perfectly inviting. The last few times I made my way up, I could barely get through the grass only to see the house looking so empty with its boarded up windows and doors. Alice waived from the porch and practically flew to the car. "You're here," she said pulling me out of the car. "Come on. We have a lot of work to do."

I turned and threw Edward a pained look over my shoulder and he laughed, throwing me a kiss.

Alice bounded up the stairs, pulling me behind her into her room. "Sit." she ordered.

I sat on her bed and she brought over a garment bag to me. I groaned. "Open it—This is what you are going to wear tonight." I unzipped the bag and pulled out a beautiful blue dress. Obviously this was meant to match the pashmina.

"Where am I going?" I asked Alice.

"Nowhere, silly. I just wanted you to feel special. And, I wanted you to look beautiful for Edward."

"Alice, this is way too glamorous of a dress for me to wear for a night at home. Besides I'll look ridiculous next to Edward. He's wearing jeans."

"You will look perfect and so will he. Now stop complaining and get in here." She said.

She pulled me into the bathroom. She buffed, polished, and tweezed until she was satisfied with the results of her own handiwork. Then she set to work on my hair, curling and pinning my hair up off of my neck. All the while she worked, I was not allowed to look in the mirror.

When she finished, Alice brought me back into her dressing room. She helped my into the single shouldered dress and handed me a shoebox.- Jimmy Choo's."

"Jimmy Choo's? " I shrieked. "Alice these must have cost you a fortune."

"Cost wasn't a factor. Bella," she smiled.

I lifted the blue satin peep toes from the box and held them up to look at them. The heels must have been at least 4 inches high. "Alice, how in the world am I going to walk in these?"

"Oh, Bella. Just put them on." She said shaking her head.

I did as I was told. Then she turned me to face the full-length mirror. I gasped. She had transformed me, I was beautiful. The blue was the exact shade I knew Edward always had loved on me. I touched the tiny rhinestones on the o-circle that held the shoulder strap in place. "Alice, thank you, " I whispered emotionally.

She clapped her hands. "I'm so glad you like it. Come on. It's time to go see the others."

We came down the stairs slowly. Edward stood open mouthed when he saw me. "Incredible, " he said as he hugged me.

"You look pretty incredible, too." I said taking in the cream cashmere sweater he had changed into.

And then before I knew it Esme and Carlisle were with us and hugging me. "Bella, I'm so glad you are going to be part of our lives again." Esme smiled.

At that exact moment I caught our reflections in the large mirror on the wall. I froze in place. In the mirror I could see myself, Edward, Alice and Esme. I looked the oldest by far. It hit me hard. I looked older, was older, than Edward's "mother." In the whirlwind of emotions that I had felt since I saw him, I had never quite seen this picture. What had I been thinking? How could this ever work? Everywhere we went people would think I was his mother. I started feeling like the room was spinning and that my legs were going to collapse from under me.

"Bella!" Edward cried out grabbing me. "Are you ok?"

"She's ok, Edward." Carlisle interrupted. She's just dealing with a lot of emotions right now."

I looked up at Carlisle. He was smiling, but I knew from his look that he understood what I was thinking. Somehow he looked different to me, not as young as I had envisioned him. I had remembered Edward telling me that Carlisle was barely passing for thirty all those years ago. He clearly looked older than 30. I actually would have guessed 40. Why was that? Carlisle sensed my stare and looked at Edward. I knew they were having a silent conversation. Edward nodded his head yes.

"I can see you have a lot of questions going on in your mind, Bella." Carlisle said. "We're going to let you and Edward have some time together so you can get your answers." He kissed the top of my head before leaving Edward and me alone.

Edward lifted me from the chair and held me tenderly against him. Then he slowly walked me back to the mirror. He stood behind me, his arms wrapped around me waist, just looking into the reflection. I wiped at a stray tear on my cheek. "Bella, what exactly are you seeing in this mirror that has you so upset?" he asked sweetly.

"I see reality, Edward. No matter how much I love you…no matter how much you love me, this is never going to work. We'll always have to hide our relationship from the world." I said crying.

"How can you say that?" he asked turning me to face him.

"Because, Edward, I'm old. I'm thirty-eight and you are seventeen. You will always be seventeen. Can you imagine what people would say, how they would talk? I'm older than your mother." I said sadly.

"Isabella Marie Swan." Edward began, "I am shocked at you. For one I'd have never imagined you would be bothered by what other people think. And secondly, you are being absolutely ridiculous. You know that I am much, much older than you… eighty-six years older than you. I don't give a damn what people think about us in Forks or anywhere else, for that matter. All that matters is that we love each other." He turned me back around to face the mirror again. "You have never seen yourself quite clearly, so let me tell you what I see when I look at you. I see an exquisitely beautiful woman who is as lovely on the inside as she is on the outside… a highly desirable, intensely sexy woman. That's what I see."

I smiled, sadly. "It doesn't change society's expectations, Edward. I'll be seen as a cougar---worse a predator." I regretted my choice of words as soon as they came out of my mouth.

"Stop it, Bella." He was clearly annoyed, "I haven't claimed to be seventeen for years. Most people take me for being in my early twenties. And you have to realize that you most certainly do not look your age. I'd place you at 30, if even that. Is that such a bad age difference then, 8- 10 years apart?"

"Edward, " Carlisle interrupted reentering the room, "Perhaps it's time to tell Bella about the other options."


	10. Chapter 10

"As you know, Bella, "Carlisle began. "Edward and I spent quite a bit of time treating patients in Africa. We also did medical research there; trying to blend modern medicine with the traditional remedies the local people were accustomed to. About a year and a half ago, we spent some time in a village where the life expectancy of the villagers was much higher than any of the other villages we had spent time in. These villagers were averaging at least ten more years of life than other Africans. They also looked an average of ten years younger."

"So," Edward took over, "Carlisle and I started to research their lifestyles. We studied their eating habits, sleep habits, sexual activity, anything we could think of that may have accounted for this phenomenon. We even checked birth records to make sure that the dates of birth and death were being logged in the same manner. We couldn't seem to find any significant difference."

"Until about nine months ago, " Carlisle added. "A local medicine man spent some time at the medical center, learning our methods as well as sharing his methods with us. We spoke to him about our study and shared our confusion with him. He was the one who finally, pointed us in the right direction. The villagers, he told us, are very protective of their secret."

"Why?" I finally questioned. "Why would they be afraid to tell you if you had been helping them?"

Carlisle continued, " You see, Bella. It seems that there is a plant that only grows in this village, not in any other part of Africa that we've visited, maybe no other part of the world. The villagers believe that if a person boils one leaf from this plant and drinks the brew, he will prolong his life. They are afraid that if anyone outside the village finds out about the plants, their village would be raided and destroyed. Who wouldn't want that kind of miracle drug, right?"

I nodded mesmerized.

"Anyway," he continued, "what we learned was this, one leaf seems to reverse human age by about ten years."

I was starting to understand, "So," I asked, do two leaves reverse human age by twenty years then?"

"No", Carlisle, smiled. "Two leaves seems to be toxic and can actually kill you. In addition, it also seems that the brew may only be taken one time in your life. More would kill you as well."

"So," said Edward, "Carlisle and I got to thinking about our world. We wondered if the plant would have any effect on a vampire at all. If indeed this one plant were so powerful, would it be able to alter our ages at all? And, would we ever have a need to know?"

"That's when I decided to be the guinea pig.," said, Carlisle. "I tried it as a medical experiment for our own kind. And as you can see Bella, it did work, just in reverse. I noticed you observing me earlier. You had noticed. Correct?"

"Yes, I did notice. But it had been so long since I'd seen you I couldn't be sure if it was my memory or a real change. So, are you saying that the plant will age a vampire ten years then?" I questioned.

"Well, we aren't really sure. After my change, Esme wanted to try it. She only seemed to age about three years. Alice didn't age at all. And Jasper, well Jasper aged more than ten years. For him it was almost fifteen."

"And for Edward? It didn't work then?" I asked.

"I didn't try it," he answered.

"Why?" I asked looking at him.

"I didn't know if or how you would want me. If you took me back, I couldn't guess…would you want me to remain unchanged or not? I wanted you to make the decision. I don't know how or if my body will react. Maybe I'll look like the old man that I really am.," he laughed.

I realized Carlisle had left us alone again and Edward led me out onto the back porch. It was a cool night and I pulled the pashmina around my shoulders. I smiled to myself. Alice had seen all of this coming. Alice knew what tonight would bring. I wondered what else she already knew.

We stood in silence for a while, until Edward turned me towards him. "Bella, do you want me to change? Should I take the chance?"

I took his hand in mine. "We both should." I said. "Not because I don't love you exactly as you are. On the contrary, you have the most breathtaking face I have ever seen. But I don't want us to have to hide."

"There's no guarantee. We can't be totally sure of the results."

"I'm willing to take that risk." I said.

"Bella, you do understand that these people we studied eventually did age, right. I mean at some point you will be back to where you are now, aging naturally."

"No, I won't."

"Bella." He laughed. "You will. Aging is inevitable. It's a natural part of life. This will only change you for a while."

I shook my head no again. "No, Edward. Because as soon as the potion takes effect. You are going to change me."

"Absolutely not!, he hissed. "Especially now that you so clearly told me that you do not want to be seen as a predator. Because, Bella, that is exactly what you will be if I change you, a predator." His jaw was clenched and I watched him struggle to control his temper.

"You KNOW how I feel about this. I won't take your life away."

I gave him a moment. Then more calmly he added, "You have me, Bella. And I'm promising I will never, never leave you again, no matter what the risk. I promise you that"

"And now, YOU know how I feel, Edward. I obviously did not move on to have the life you thought I would after you left. Don't you see, Edward? You are… you have always been my life. I have no life without you."

"I want you forever." I continued with resolve in my voice. "All of you…no more worries… no more stopping because I'm too fragile. I want all of you, Edward… forever.

And then he surprised me. "OK." He said.

"OK?" I asked stunned.

"Yes, but I have one condition, " he said pausing. "Marry me, Bella."


	11. Chapter 11

Years ago the sound of his words might have spun me into a panic attack. As much as I had loved Edward at eighteen, the thought of marriage had made me uncomfortable. Charlie and Renee's failed union had been a daily reminder of how wrong a marriage could go. And, I had never wanted to follow in their path. But seeing how happy couples like Ben and Angela were in their marriage had tempered my ancient ideas. Now, more than anything in this world, I wanted to be Edward's wife. I didn't have to think about it, I knew without a shadow of a doubt we belonged together as one.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. He reached behind my neck and pulled me closer to him. His lips moved across my jaw and down to the hollow of my throat before returning back to my mouth. He gently released me, staring into my eyes. "Can I take that as a yes, Bella?" he questioned softly.

"Yes…yes…yes!" I said kissing him playfully after each affirmation. "Oh Edward, you don't know how long I have dreamed of this day!"

His eyes glowed with happiness, as he pulled the black satin box from his pants pocket. He opened the lid and handed it to me, exposing the delicate ring nestled inside. It was not a traditional solitaire, but had a long oval face covered with slanting rows of sparkling diamonds. It was incredibly lovely, like nothing I had seen before.

I gasped when I saw it. "Edward, it's beautiful." I said quietly.

"It was my mother's," he answered, removing it from its box. He lifted my left hand and placed the ring on my finger. "And now it's yours…forever."

We both stared at the ring on my hand as it sparkled in the moonlight. I wasn't sure I could ever be happier. He pulled me back into a kiss, the kind of kiss that he didn't normally allow. And for a minute I had forgotten who or where I was.

I heard a cough then, and realized we were no longer alone. Alice was bouncing on her heels, barely containing her happiness. "Congratulations, you two. I'm so happy I could burst!" She sang out.

Carlisle and Esme joined us on the porch, smiling and offering congratulations and hugs. Alice was over the top, talking about ideas for the wedding and possible dates before Edward stopped her, "Alice, at the risk of seeming rude, these decisions are not really yours to make."

I reached out and touched his arm, "It's okay, Edward. She's just excited. But truthfully, Alice, I do have some ideas. So maybe I can tell you them and you can see them through."

"Of course, Bella." She said smiling a knowing smile.

"You already know what I'll want, don't you, Alice?" I questioned her.

She nodded happily before Carlisle interrupted. "I don't mean to change the subject, but have you two made a decision as to the aging potion?"

Edward answered for both of us. "Yes, we are both willing to try it."

"Well," said Carlisle, "In my opinion you should go first Edward. Then based on the reaction you have to the potion, we can decide how to proceed. It may be possible that you will age enough thus negating Bella's need for the potion at all."

I hadn't thought of that possibility. Edward seemed please with that idea. I knew he hated for me to have to change any part of my human life for him. I looked at him and with fear in my voice said, "Edward, you would still change me, right?"

"Yes, Bella. I won't go back on that promise. I fully intend to make you mine in every way possible." He answered reassuringly, squeezing my hand.

"OK then." Carlisle said looking at Edward, "Do you want to try it tonight?"

I hadn't realized that all of this could happen so quickly and I was giddy with excitement. Edward looked at me to gauge my reaction. Laughing at my apparent expression, he answered Carlisle, "I don't think Bella will let me wait."

"Well then, why don't you explain the process to Bella while I start to get the potion ready." he encouraged Edward.

We sat down on the porch swing, with Esme and Alice joining us. "It's really quite simple," Edward began. After Carlisle boils the leaf, the brew will need to steep and cool to room temperature. Then I'll drink it. That's really about all there is to it."

"Edward," Esme countered, "You are giving Bella the impression that you will transform immediately. I think you need to give her more details, dear."

"After I drink the potion I will become very tired and at some point fall asleep. The transformation will take place during the course of a sleep cycle. When I awake the results will be visible immediately."

"You will sleep? But, I thought vampires never slept. I thought it was impossible," I said.

"So did we. But the rest have all fallen asleep during the transformation process." Edward said calmly.

"The amount of time one is asleep seems to correlate directly to the amount of years a vampire will age," Alice added. "I never fell asleep at all and no change occurred for me. Whereas Carlisle slept for ten hours and he aged 10 years. Basically, we would expect that Edward will age one year for each hour he is asleep…if he falls asleep at all."

"How soon will he fall asleep after he drinks it?" I asked.

"For all of us except Alice, sleep came within 15 minutes." Esme informed me. "When Edward wakes, we would expect that he will feel refreshed but very thirsty. He'll need to hunt immediately."

She paused, turning to Carlisle who had just returned with a steaming cup in his hand. "Do you think it will be safe for Bella to be in the room when Edward awakens? Do you think the thirst will be too strong?"

Before Carlisle could answer, I interrupted, "I'm not leaving him."

"Bella…" Edward started.

I put my hand up to silence him. "Not up for discussion." I said.

Alice smiled at me sweetly and then looked at Edward. "It's ok Edward. You're not going to hurt her."

"Alice," I asked. "Can you see the outcome of this? Can you tell if it will work?"

Alice smiled, "Ah, Bella. You never did like surprises. I have a vision of Edward waking up, so I know he will fall asleep. But, his face is blurred in the vision so I can't tell how much he will age. In the vision, I see you smiling Bella, so I'm guessing you will be happy with the results." Alice explained.

I didn't have any other questions, so Edward excused us. Taking the cup in his hand, he led me towards his room. He ushered me in through the door, turning on the lights. His room looked much different than it had the last time I was here. The wall of music still lined one side of the room. But instead of the leather couch I had somewhat expected, an enormous bed filled the room.

"You bought a bed?" I asked.

He gave me a sultry smile. "Do you like it?" he asked.

What wasn't to like? The bed was black iron with sculpted roses winding around the tall posts. The mattress was high and thick and was dressed in a coverlet that I guessed was made of pure silk. It looked like the kind of bed I imagined a princess would crawl into each night. I climbed up on it, caressing the fabric, " I love it," I answered dreamily.

He joined me on the bed and wound his arms around me, kissing softly down my neck. My skin tingled under his cool touch and I instinctively reached my arms up around his neck to pull myself closer to him. To my surprise he didn't pull away. His icy lips molded to mine and kissed me until I was breathless. It was me that had to finally break the kiss so that I could get some air. "Edward," I said, "Do you want to try …I mean as a teen…just so you'll know?"

He pulled away then, "Don't get carried away, Bella. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. Besides," he laughed, "I wouldn't want you to get arrested for seducing a minor."

I swatted at him, thinking… he still had undeniable self-control. I still became mush at his touch. Some things never changed.

Playing with my hair, he spoke again, "Bella, I was gone a long time. Did you… I mean was there anyone…are you…? He had a nervous, unsure look on his face.

I laughed now. "No, Edward, never. You are probably looking at Fork's oldest virgin."

"I'm glad." He said obviously pleased. "I mean, I couldn't have expected you to wait of course. But, I'm glad we still have that in common."

"Well then," I laughed again, "I guess I have been demoted. YOU are now Fork's oldest virgin."

"Not for long, " he said with a grin. Then he picked up the cup.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Ready!" he said confidently.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Edward lifted the cup to his mouth, taking a small sip of the mystical brew. "Not as vile as I feared," he commented, before finishing the entire cup at once.

He smiled at me then, putting the cup back on the nightstand, "Done. Now we let nature... or magic, takes its course."

He stood to undress, leaving on only a pair of silvery boxers. I had seen Edward without a shirt before, but never only clad in underwear. My heart pounded wildly in my chest and a feeling of warmth coursed its way straight through to my toes. I swallowed and took a deep breath to try to compose myself as he settled himself back into bed, watching me.

Alice had left a blue satin camisole with matching pajama pants on the foot of the bed. I wasn't sure if I should change in front of Edward or excuse myself and change in his bathroom. Oh hell, I thought…I undressed quickly, avoiding eye contact with Edward. When I finally had the pajamas on, I climbed up on the bed next to him. His eyes were dark and smoldering. "You look beautiful." He said, caressing my arms. I wrapped the coverlet around me and snuggled up against his winter-cold skin.

"Are you scared?" I asked him.

"Not about the change, only your reaction to it," he answered.

"Don't be scared…I love you," I said, kissing him.

Our kiss was interrupted by a yawn. Edward laughed, "I'm sorry, Bella. That's a first for me."

I could see he was getting very relaxed, so I lay my head on a pillow and softly caressed his chest and arms. "Mmmm. That feels so good. " he said groggily. His eyes started to flutter and his breathing slowed. He mumbled, "I love you." And then he was out. The clock said 12:02.

"I love you, too," I whispered, kissing him lightly on the forehead. I gently stroked his hair, thinking about how lucky I was to have him love me. It was so easy to love him. I was amazed at how completely the hurt of the past two decades slipped away, so easily forgotten…as if it never even happened at all.

My mind wandered to random thoughts, and then suddenly I remembered that I was supposed to open the bookstore at 10:00 am. I slapped my forehead gently. How could I have forgotten? I quietly and carefully slid out of the bed, grabbing my cell phone. Slipping out into the hall, I dialed Angela's number.

"Hello?" Angela answered sleepily. I had obviously woken her.

"Ang, I'm sorry to wake you. It's me."

"Bella, is everything alright?"she asked.

"Yes, everything is fine. But I need a favor from you. Could you run the store tomorrow? I know it's short notice, but it'd really help me out."

"Yeah, um… hmm, yeah that should be fine. Are you sure you're ok?" she questioned.

"Better than OK, Ang. Edward is back." I glowed.

Angela was suddenly wide-awake. "Edward as in Edward Cullen, Edward?"

"Yep," I giggled.

"Oh my God, Bella!"

"I know." I laughed. "Listen, Ang, I have so much to tell you but it's late. I'll catch you up on everything tomorrow. OK?"

In true Angela form she didn't push for information. "OK. Oh, and Bella, good luck."

"Thanks, Ang. Good night."

I turned off my phone and tiptoed back into the room. Edward was breathing deeply, the moonlight casting a silver glow on his pale skin. No change yet. I brushed my teeth and hurried back to the bed, trying not to make any noise. He looked so peaceful, so serene.

I lay next to him silently, staring at him in the dark for hours. Memories of the past and hopes for the future floated through my mind. I don't know when, but I finally fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

When I woke, the room was very still but very bright. Edward was still asleep, spooned against my back; his right arm snuggled around my waist. I glanced at the clock, 1:00. He had been asleep for thirteen hours. I wished I could turn to see his face, but I was afraid the movement would wake him. I definitely wanted him to sleep a little longer. I concentrated on relaxing, matching my breathing to his, and eventually I fell back asleep, too.

My bladder woke me for good at 4:00. I couldn't believe I had slept so long. I rolled over quietly to look at Edward. He was on his back now, his right arm covering his face. I crept out of bed and padded quietly into his bathroom. I was ecstatic that he was sleeping so long, 17 hours. That put him at 34 years of age. If he woke now, I could handle being just a few years older than him, I guessed.

Like a child trying to peek at her gifts on Christmas morning, I snuck silently back into the bedroom. I had been so focused on what Edward's face would look like after the change, I hadn't given any thought to his body. And now, he laid there in all his glory. He was a sight to behold. He had a broad, sculpted chest leading to defined abs and a narrow waist. His arms were wide and muscular. Edward's body had always looked amazing to me…lean and strong. But now he was absolutely ripped…definitely not the body of a seventeen year old. Wait until Emmett saw him!

He started to stir and I went back to the bed. I wanted to watch him wake up. He removed his arm from his face, opened his jet black eyes and glanced at me. Quicker than was humanly possible, he was up out of bed and on his feet.

"Good morning," I said. "How do you feel?"

His breathing was suddenly heavy and ragged, his eyes dark and angry. "Get out!" he hissed.

I was frozen to my place. "Edw.." I began.

But before I could finish his name, he roared, "Leave, Bella. Now!"

The door swung open. Before I knew what was happening, Alice had lifted me over her shoulder and ran out of the room, down the stairs and right out of the house into her car. My whole body was shaking when she set me down in the passenger seat. I didn't think I had ever seen Edward so angry or so agitated, until a memory of my first meeting with him in the high school biology lab flashed through my mind. That day, Edward had told me later, he had come very close to killing me. I shuddered.

Alice didn't speak until we were on the main road. "I'm sorry Bella. Edward was in a lot of pain. His reaction to your scent was much stronger than I had envisioned. I had to get you out of there before he did something he regretted."

I nodded in understanding. "It's not his fault," I said. "I know that. He would never mean to hurt me. It's my fault, really. Esme tried to warn me."

"He will be very upset with himself…about his behavior I mean," she said quietly.

She drove me home and insisted upon staying with me. "Alice," I said, "You don't have to stay with me. I don't need a babysitter. I'm fine, really. Honestly, wouldn't you rather go hunting with the others?" I looked at the purple circles under her black eyes.

"You look thirsty," I continued.

Her dark eyes considered that option for a moment. "Are you sure you'll be ok?" she asked uncertainly.

"Of course. Actually, I have some phone calls I need to make anyway." I said.

After a little more encouragement, I convinced Alice to go. She hesitatingly left me to the quietness of my house. The answering machine was blinking to show I had messages waiting to be picked up. I pressed the button and the messages started to play.

The first was Angela. "Hi, Bella. Just wanted to let you know that everything at the shop is going fine. I'm dying to hear your news. Call me."

The second was Jacob. "Hey, Bells. It's me. Just checkin' up on you. Give me a call."

The third was Jacob. "Bella, hey it's Jake. Tried your cell, but you have it shut off. Where are you?"

The fourth was Jacob. "Damn it, Bella. Where the hell are you? Will you let me know if you're ok, please?"

The fifth, which had only come in minutes before I arrived, was also from Jake. "I'm coming to your house. If your not there I'm heading up to the crypt….. I'm too damn old for this, Bella!"

Almost as soon as the message ended, I heard pounding on the door. I opened it knowing who it would be, forgetting I was still in pajamas. Jake took one look at me and rolled his eyes. "Please tell me you're alone."

"Jake, I'm alone." I teased with overdone seriousness.

"Knock it off, Bella. Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you?"

"You didn't need to worry," I said.

He rolled his eyes again and crashed down on my sofa. "Oh hey, why would I worry, just because my best friend is locking lips with a bloodsucker? Just because he could kill you?" he mocked.

I stared at him without speaking. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just get a little crazy when…"

I cut him off, finishing his sentence, "…I'm with Edward. Jake, you need to make peace with this. He's back in my life now and I intend on keeping him there."

Jacob groaned, shaking his head, "I'll never understand it. Never did before…never will."

"I'm not asking you to understand, Jake. Just be happy that I'm happy." I bent down and kissed him softly of the forehead.

He tossed me the bag he had in his hand. "I figured you might be hungry. He always used to forget that you eat food," he said matter of factly.

I snorted a little laugh. I was starving…I ate the burrito right where I stood in the living room. "Thanks, Jake, and thank Anna, too. She makes the best Mexican food."

He watched me eat for a minute before he stood up to leave. I hugged him goodbye. "Thanks for caring about me so much, Jake," I said.

He nodded. "Night, Bells. I love you."

"Love you," I said, blowing him a kiss from the doorway.

I watched him drive away. I don't know what I ever did to deserve a friend like Jacob but I intended to keep him in my life, too.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Angela answered her phone on the second ring. We made small talk about the shop for the first few minutes before I turned the conversation to Edward. I told her all the details that I could, feeling relief being able share this with someone. Next to Jacob, Angela had been my best friend since high school. She had weathered the storm with me and like Jacob, had helped pick up the pieces when Edward had left me. Of course, she couldn't know everything that Jake knew. It would have been too dangerous for her, and in all honesty, she probably would have thought I had truly lost my mind.

When I told her that Edward proposed to me, she screamed with excitement. "Oh, Bella, I can't even tell you how happy I am for you. I know this is what you've always wanted. Have you set a date?"

"As soon as possible, Ang. I've been thinking that if we could get the marriage license this week, maybe we could even find someone to marry us this weekend," I gushed.

"Wow. Well if it looks like that could work out, call me. I'm sure my dad would gladly hear your vows," she said.

"That would be terrific. I'll let you know as soon as I find out anything," I bubbled.

Angela offered to take care of the shop for the rest of the week, which I gratefully accepted. The store was always closed on Tuesdays, but I was glad not to have to worry about it for the next couple of days. If I could get a wedding together quickly, I would probably have to shut the store down for a week or two so that we could take a honeymoon.

Since my sleep schedule was totally off kilter, I set off to locate some DVDs for a movie night. I pulled out some old classics including my favorite, Romeo and Juliet. I popped some popcorn and settled into my little twin bed for a long night.

Somewhere in the middle of the third movie, I must have fallen asleep. I dreamt about being at the zoo. I was standing in front of the lion habitat. A male lion gracefully paced the length of the fencing. He was an elegant animal with golden eyes that seemed to follow my every move. Then he let out a terrible growl and I woke with a start. It was still dark outside. I took a deep breath, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I shut the television off and lay awake a long while before drifting off to sleep again.

I wasn't worried when I woke up in an empty room. I had expected that Edward would need to hunt for a length of time to satisfy the intense thirst the transformation had caused. So, I took a leisurely shower and blew my hair out straight. I made a nice big breakfast of eggs and pancakes and then decided to head into town for a new outfit. Alice would be so proud of me.

I drove down to the only clothing store located in Forks. It was a small store and the selection was limited, but the styles were current. I didn't know what I was looking for exactly, just something feminine. I settled on a silky royal blue blouse and ivory pants. I splurged on ivory suede ankle boots. I picked out. new underwear and bras to replace the ancient pieces I was currently wearing. Then on a whim, I bought an old-fashioned white cotton and lace nightgown. I lugged my bags to the car feeling pleased with myself.

When I got home I grabbed some lunch and called the Clallalm County Municipal Building to find out how to go about obtaining a marriage license. Edward and I would have to drive to Port Angeles to apply for the license and then wait at least three days before we could be married. I calculated in my head…if we applied for the license tomorrow, we could definitely be married on Saturday. I smiled to myself. I could be Mrs. Edward Cullen in just a few days. Bella Cullen…I liked the sound of that.

As the day dragged on into night, my fears started to rise to the surface. I hadn't heard from Edward, or any of the Cullens, for that matter since yesterday afternoon. Was everything all right? Did someone get hurt? Was Edward unhappy with the results of the transformation? Or….had Edward decided to leave me again? I thought back to that dreadful birthday party. He had been so upset when Jasper lost control. That had been the catalyst for the entire Cullen family's departure…the end of our relationship. Yesterday, Edward had lost control. Was I losing him again? The thought made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't bear to lose him a second time.

I got up to check my cell phone…no messages, no texts. My heart pounded as I dialed Edward's phone number. No answer. I dialed Alice. No answer. Finally, I dialed Jacob.

"Hey, Bells. What's up?" Jacob answered cheerfully.

I tried to hide the sadness in my voice. "Hey yourself. Not much. What are you doing?"

"Just putting my feet up. It was busy at the garage today," he answered. Jake loved owning his own garage. He loved being his own boss. But more than anything he loved being underneath the hood of a car.

"Oh," I said, my voice tinged with disappointment.

Instinctively, Jake asked, "You okay, Bella?"

"Yea sure, I'm fine," I lied.

"You don't sound so fine," he pressed.

"Actually, Jake, I'm not so good. I'm worried about Edward."

He didn't reply.

"I haven't heard from him since last night and my imagination is getting the best of me."

Still no reply.

"Jake, are you listening?" I asked.

"Yea," he grunted.

I told him about the aging potion and that Edward had gone off hunting. I omitted the parts about Edward's proposal and his reaction to me when he woke up yesterday. When I finished there was a long pause before Jacob started to speak.

"Why are you telling me this, Bella? Why aren't you talking to the fortuneteller? She's his sister for God's sake. She'd probably be able to tell you where he is," he said gruffly.

"She went with him, Jake. They all went. I …I guess I thought you…" I said, my voice shaking.

"You thought what?" He raised his voice. "That I would go out and track your disgusting leech down…bring him back to you?"

"No, Jake. No!" I was crying now. "I just needed to talk to you. You've always known what to say to make me feel better."

"Not when it comes to him, Bella. You're on your own when it comes to him," he said

with anger in his voice.

"But, I…love...him, Jake." I stammered, hoping his heart would soften.

"THAT, I AM sorry about. But I'm not going to say I'd be sorry if he left. He doesn't belong here. He's not good for you!" Anger still radiated in his voice.

I cried softly without answering. Jacob broke the silence. "I gotta go, Bella. Try to get some sleep." And then he hung up.

The sense of loss felt like a heavy weight on my chest. Just last night I had been so thankful that I had Edward back in my life and Jacob as my best friend. Now I felt like I was losing them both.

I walked to the back porch and sat on the white wicker rocker. I hugged my knees to my chest and stared out into the dark, moonless night. The wind was blowing through the trees in the forest and I could smell rain in the air. Lightning flashed in the distance and thunder rumbled in a quiet roll. I felt numb. I wasn't crying anymore but the sadness permeated me to my core. A small voice in the back of my head kept trying to tell me not to worry…he'd only been gone just a little more than twenty-four hours. But, I couldn't seem to grasp on to that hope.

Through the storm I sat there, alone, rocking back and forth. I was cold and damp, but I didn't have the energy to move. So I watched the rain rush to the earth and the lightning flicker in the sky. The thunder was getting closer and so loud that it was vibrating in my chest. A fleeting flashback reminded me of Vampire Ball, and I wondered if perhaps the Cullens were playing baseball tonight. Suddenly a gust of wind came through the trees and a huge bolt of lightning cracked and lit up the entire sky. In that brief moment of light I thought I saw a figure at the edge of the forest. I strained my eyes to see through the once again black night. It was a person, a man, and he was walking towards me.

"Bella?" the voice called through the night. It was a familiar voice. It sounded very much like Edward's voice, only deeper. Then I realized it was Edward's voice…of course that would have changed, too.

I ran off of the porch, through the rain, and into his arms. My own waterworks began, and I was sobbing again.

"Shh, Bella. Everything's alright. Shh, don't be afraid, it's only a thunderstorm, Love. I'm here," he said holding me tight with one arm and stroking my head with the other.

"You're here!" I cried, clutching him and kissing his face. "I was so afraid!"

He lifted me up and walked me back onto the porch, sitting in the rocker. "What brought this on, Love? You've seen hundreds of thunderstorms in Forks. I don't ever remember one causing you so much distress."

"I wasn't afraid of the storm, Edward," I sniffed, keeping my face buried in his chest. "I was afraid I had lost you…that you had left me again."

"Oh, Bella." He raised my face to look into my eyes. "I promised you I would never leave. Didn't you believe me? I could never lose you again."

"But yesterday," I started.

He put his finger over my lips to silence me. "Yesterday I was not myself, Bella." He paused, "Well, actually that's not true either. That WAS exactly who I really am. I've told you repeatedly that I'm a monster. I can usually control myself better, though. But, yesterday my defenses were down and the transformation made it very difficult to resist you. That's why I needed to have you leave, Bella." He stared into my eyes. "I wanted you very badly…in a very bad way. I'm okay now though, really, and I'm so very sorry for scaring you. I'm so sorry…for everything."

I removed his hand from my mouth. "Edward, I've told you the only thing that scares me is losing you."

He lifted my left hand and touched the engagement ring to his lips. "Bella, as soon as we can possibly manage, I will make you my wife. Then will you finally believe that I will never leave you?" he asked.

"I will believe that you will love me forever. When you change me…that's when I will believe that you will never leave me." I answered honestly.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Seeing Edward in the sunlight all those years ago had been shocking. But I'm not even sure THAT compared to the shock I felt seeing his newly transformed face. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

"So, what do you think?" Edward asked, sitting on the saggy mattress of my twin bed.

I touched his cold, marble skin, using my fingers to read the newness of his face as if I were a blind person. He was just so spectacularly beautiful that I had to touch him to make sure he was real. "Better than I ever could have imagined. You're beautiful…like some god that fell from the heavens."

He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Bella. The way you regard me…"

I tried to decipher what exactly had changed. I mean the "new" Edward had the same face, yet it was different. Of course he was a little taller and his voice had deepened. His face was broader and he had a laugh line or two, but other than that, I couldn't figure out what exactly made him look older, he just did. He was no longer a boy. Everything about him screamed man. He was bigger, broader, sexier…My heart skipped a beat as I looked over his body.

"I can't seem to stop touching you," I said, laughing.

"I'm not complaining," Edward said, taking me in his arms.

I kissed him deeply, pushing him down on the bed, which suddenly seemed noticeably smaller. I straddled his hips and bent down to open the buttons of his shirt. He watched me intently, as I slowly rubbed my hands over his chest and down to his waistband. I lingered there for a moment, running my finger along the edge of his pants. As I moved to unbutton his jeans, he grasped my hand firmly.

"No, Bella," he said disapprovingly.

I groaned in frustration, dropping my head to his chest.

"It's not that I don't want you, Bella," he began, "You know that. It's difficult for me too."

Exasperated, I didn't answer him for a while until I blurted, "Edward, I want to go to apply for the marriage license tomorrow."

He laughed. "Can't wait any longer, Love?" Then before I could answer, he flipped me over and covered me in ticklish little kisses, making me laugh so hard I couldn't even breathe.

Edward held me throughout the night as I slept in my tiny bed. He had obviously been waiting for me to wake up, for as soon as my eyes opened he said, "The County Auditor's Office opens at 8:30. We need to go there to apply for our marriage license."

"What time is it?" I asked, stretching.

"Seven. That will give you time to shower and get ready. Do you want to eat here or in Port Angeles?"

I laughed, "Now who's the one who can't wait?"

"Well, I had a lot of time to think while you slept." He caressed my face, continuing, "There's nothing stopping us from getting married right away, so way wait?"

"I feel the same way," I said hopping out of bed.

We were on the road by 7:45. With the way Edward drove, we'd be there in time for the office to open. I munched on a granola bar thinking about how quickly Alice could possibly manage to get a wedding together. I wondered if Alice already knew when the wedding would take place. Celebrations were her specialty. For all I knew she had already started all of the planning without me, Alice style.

My thoughts were interrupted by the ring of Edward's cell phone. He pulled the tiny silver phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.

"Hi, Alice. Yes, we're on the way there right now. Of course."

He handed me the phone. "For you," he smiled.

"Good morning, Bella!" Alice sang in my ear.

"Hi, Alice. I was just thinking about you. Are you turning into a mind reader now?" I smiled at Edward.

"No, silly. But I did know you were on your way into town, and there's something you need to take care of while you are there. You need to visit an antique shop there called Everything Vintage. Edward knows where it is. There is a gown there that you need to see. It's the only wedding gown in the shop and it's going to fit you perfectly. You'll love it." She was bubbling over with enthusiasm.

"And you know this…"

"Bel-la!" she giggled. "You don't need to buy shoes, I already took care of that."

"Will I be able to walk in them?" I worried.

She giggled without answering my question.

"Alice…Can you see the date we're getting married?" I asked.

"Of course, ever since you made up your mind. I do think you should let Edward in on it though. I've tried to keep the date out of my mind until you've told him…wouldn't want to ruin your surprise. Edward is going to be thrilled it's so soon. Anyway, I've got to run…lots of details to take care of."

"Alice…"

"Don't worry so much, Bella. I really do know what you want. It will be perfect. Trust me." Then she disconnected. I had forgotten how much I missed Alice…how much fun she could be…and apparently just how much she could see into the future.

We parked in the small lot and walked into the Municipal Building holding hands, finding the County Auditor's office quickly. A little bell sat on the counter bearing the sign, "Ring if You Need Assistance." I touched the bell lightly, and a petite, elderly woman shuffled to the counter. Edward asked her for the marriage license application and she smiled at us warmly.

"You make a beautiful couple, "she said, handing us the paper.

Edward squeezed my hand. "Thank you," we replied at the same time.

The one page application was short. It asked for our names, place of birth, and birthdate. I raised an anxious eyebrow towards Edward when I looked over at his answers. He glanced up at me and smiled. "The new birth certificate is already in my pocket. Don't worry so much."

The Cullens had always covered their tracks, so to say. They had a fully stocked kitchen even though they never ate. Every bedroom except for Edward's old room contained a beautiful bed, even though no sleep ever took place in those rooms. And paperwork, well I wasn't sure who took care of that, but everything verified that they were who and what they were supposed to be…diplomas, licenses, adoption certificates. Everything upheld the fairy tale life they lived. Edward pulled out the official looking document and handed it to me.

"Edward, this says that you are 37. You didn't sleep that long," I whispered into his ear.

"I know, Love. But the last time I was here, I was a few months younger than you. Remember? Since you just turned 38, that would put me at 37. Understand?" He kissed the top of my head.

"You used your real birthday… June 20th? I thought you usually considered September your birthday since that's when Carlisle changed you, " I continued.

He laughed, holding the birth certificate in his hand, "I guess I thought some things on this should actually be true."

Just then, the tiny clerk came back to check on us. "Are you lovebirds finished?"

I handed her the paper. "Yes, I think that should be all you need."

She read over our application, "This is the first marriage for both of you?" She seemed genuinely surprised.

"We've loved each other for a very long time." Edward answered staring into my eyes.

"I can see you are very much in love. You will have a long, happy life together!" Then she told us to have a seat, pointing to a bank of old black vinyl chairs.

I looked around the room as we waited. Everything about the room was old and worn from the water-stained yellowed sections of the drop ceiling and the brown fake wood paneling, down to the dull green-flecked terrazzo tiles that made up the floor.

"What are you thinking about, Love?" Edward asked.

"Nothing really. Just thinking about how old everything is in here. It's kind of sad…depressing. It's definitely seen better days."

He smiled, taking my hand. "Bella…I'm the oldest thing here, and I'm not sad or depressed. And… I definitely think the best of my days are yet to come now that I have you back again." His lips brushed against my fingers, then he turned my hand and placed a kiss in the center my palm. His topaz eyes bore into mine. "I'm the luckiest man alive."

I was transfixed in his gaze, my heart pumping wildly. "You're doing it again…" He tipped his head to one side as if to question what I meant. "…dazzling me."

He laughed, kissing my hand again. "I don't know if I can think of a word that describes what you do to me. When I look at you all I know is that the world is in perfect alignment. Everything seems more beautiful when I am with you. I feel perfectly blissful, utterly and completely content." He sighed, taking my face in his hands. "I love you. You are my world, Bella."

I hadn't realized that the little old clerk had called out our names until Edward turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I thought you'd like to know that your application has been approved. You have up to 60 days to get married, but you need to wait at least three. Today is Wednesday so that would make Saturday the first day that your license will be valid," she said.

Edward stood to collect the paperwork, thanking her for her time and efforts. I didn't think my legs could hold me yet. He had overwhelmed me with emotion…again. Edward sensed I would need help, and reached out to grasp my hand.

"Dazzled," he beamed. "I like that word."

It was pouring when we exited the building, so we ran to the car. It hadn't stopped us from getting drenched, though. Our hair was dripping wet and our clothes were soaked through. I shivered slightly. Edward started the car and cranked the heat to high. He pulled a blanket from the back seat and handed it to me.

"Edward…I want to get married on Saturday. What do you think?"

"I think whatever Bella wants, Bella gets," he said, kissing my wet nose.

"Hmm," I said, kissing him. "Bella wants Edward." I tried to make my expression look sultry.

He raised his sculpted brow and swallowed loudly. "Saturday it is, then."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Edward found _Everything Vintage_ quickly, so quickly in fact that it hadn't even opened for the day. The "Closed" sign hung in the window with the hours of operation written neatly below. They wouldn't be open for another half hour so Edward suggested that I get a real breakfast. I had spotted a McDonald's on the way and had him head over to the drive-thru. He ordered a sausage biscuit and a cup of hot chocolate for me, and then pulled around to the window to pick it up. A pretty, young blonde slid open the window to collect his money and hand him the bag. She smiled brightly at Edward and almost dropped the change as she handed it back to him. I sighed. It had been a while since Edward and I had been out in public and I would once again have to get used to his good looks turning females' heads to mush.

Edward drove back toward the store and parked on the street while I ate my deliciously greasy sandwich. He looked over at me and laughed at my expression. "Is it really that good? Because honestly it looks truly revolting."

"It's one of my favorite junk food indulgences. Do you want to try a taste?" He made a face and nodded his head. "Chicken," I teased.

"Not chicken, just choosy. There is only one thing in this car that would appeal to my tastes. Unfortunately, that would be you."

I stopped chewing and stared at him. He sensed that he had shocked me and began to speak again. "Sorry, Love. That was uncalled for. It's just that you smell so good from the rain that my thinking is a little clouded."

"Should I get out of the car now? Are you in pain?"

He took my hand, "No, no. It's not bad. I just hunted recently…I'm not thirsty. Your scent is just so… intoxicating."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I love it," he said, kissing my wrist.

"So, I am still your drug of choice?" I laughed, remembering a similar discussion.

"You are _exactly_ my brand of heroin." The precise words I had remembered him saying to me so many years ago.

I finished up my breakfast and gathered my garbage to be thrown out. The shopkeeper had turned the sign to "Open" and turned on all the lights. "Do you want to wait here or come with me?" I asked.

"Alice will kill me if she knows I saw your gown. Isn't that against tradition, anyway?"

"Edward, we are far from the traditional couple!" I said, laughing.

"I still don't think we should tempt the fates," he replied.

I browsed through the store while Edward waited in the car. It was a tiny shop, overflowing with treasures wherever I looked. A pretty, auburn haired woman polished a silver teapot behind the counter and looked up as I made my way around the obstacle course of items she had displayed. "Can I help you find something?"

"Yes, my friend told me that you carried wedding dresses."

"You must be Bella, " she said smiling.

"I am…did Alice tell you I'd be coming?"

"She did." She reached out to shake my hand. "My name is Penelope. I have the dress hanging in the back. Follow me."

I wove my way to the back of the store, praying that I wouldn't fall over some near priceless antique. I still wasn't the poster child for gracefulness. I was a little worried that Alice had sent me to an antique shop. I really couldn't picture myself in some old, elaborate gown. What if I hated it? Alice would be so upset.

Penelope led me into the changing room and told me to wait there while she got the gown. I sat on one of the pink velvet chairs while I waited for her to return. The room was small but lovely. It had mirrors on three walls; the fourth was wallpapered with pink and cream roses. Two side windows brought in light through the ivory lace curtains. It was very feminine and I wistfully wished I had a female here to share this moment with me…the moment I tried on a wedding gown for the first time.

"Here it is," Penelope said, carrying in the gown. It was enclosed in an opaque garment bag so I couldn't see it at first. Penelope quickly removed its protective covering and held it out for me to view.

"Oh!" I breathed, putting my hand over my mouth. "It's beautiful."

"Would you like to try it on?" she asked, smiling.

"Yes… please. I'd love to."

She took the white satin gown from the hanger and helped me slide into the silky smooth fabric. Then, she effortlessly zipped me into the dress. Alice had been right…the dress was a perfect fit. She placed a small headpiece and veil onto my head and spun me around to face one of the mirrors.

My eyes welled with tears as I stared at myself in the mirror. It was absolutely perfect. "Anne Shirley. I look just like Anne Shirley! " I finally said aloud, wiping away a lone tear.

She laughed, "You are very observant! This is the very dress that Megan Follows wore in the production of Anne of Green Gables. I recently acquired it by auction. Do you like it?"

"I love it!"

"I'm glad. I loved it when I first saw it, too…and it looks lovely on you. Shall I get it ready for you to take with you or would you like it delivered?"

"I'll be taking it with me," I said, handing her my VISA card.

"That won't be necessary. It's already been paid for," she said, smiling.

"Who… Alice?" I asked full well knowing it had to have been.

Penelope was still smiling. "She's a great friend!"

"Yes," I said, smiling back, "and soon to be my sister-in-law."

Edward had the trunk open when I got to the car. "Do you like Alice's gift?"

"You are all ridiculously generous. I certainly could have paid for my own gown. As a matter of fact…"

"Bella…" he interrupted, "let Alice be Alice. Enjoy your gift and stop worrying about money…that's something you don't ever have to worry about again." He kissed my cheek.

I let out a deep breath. I did tend to forget just how wealthy the Cullens were. I didn't know exactly how much money Edward had, but I knew that it was quite a lot. That would take some getting used to.

On the way home I got to thinking about Jacob. I really needed to let him know about the wedding. That was a scary thought given our last conversation. But I _needed_ to get this settled. I _needed_ him to accept Edward and me being together. I _needed_ to feel I wasn't losing him as my friend. But mostly, I _needed_ him to walk me down the aisle.

"Edward, could you drop me off at La Push?"

"Hmm…have some things to settle with Jacob?" he asked.

"Yes... he was really upset last night. I need to make things right with him. I want him to give me away to you on Saturday."

"Oh, Bella. That is not going to be easy for him. You know how he feels about me. Why are you setting yourself up for heartache?"

"_He_ knows how I feel about you. I need to try to talk some reason into him. You can just drop me off at the borderline and I'll walk to his garage. It's just a few miles down from the border."

"Don't be silly, Bella. You take the car. I can run home, " he said.

"OK. Or, you could wait for me. I won't be too long,"

"No. You take as much time as you need. Alice will be happy to get me working on the wedding plans. Just come up to the house when you're finished." He pulled up to the borderline and put the car in park. He turned and kissed me deeply. "If you need me to come and get you…for whatever reason, call me."

"Edward, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I'm more worried about you being alone with Alice," I laughed.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. I'm sure she's feeling a great deal of pressure with the wedding coming in three days. Maybe we should just elope?"

"And risk her wrath? Oooh, no!" I said.

We both laughed and I kissed him once more before he got out of the car. I watched him walk into the forest and then saw a streak of light go through the trees…he was running.

I drove the five minute drive to Jacob's garage, trying not to think about how the upcoming conversation might go. I was nervous enough…no need to put myself into a complete panic attack.

Pulling into the gravel lot, I saw Jacob's pick-up parked on the side of the garage. I pulled along side of his truck and slowly walked to the front of the garage. Anna was working in the office so I decided to go and see her first.

"Hi, Bella," she greeted me cheerfully.

"Hey, Anna. How are things?"

"Hmm…ok. Jake's in a mood though," she grimaced.

"Still?"

She nodded. "He's mad about your …um….situation. And he's mad that he lost it with you last night. He was sooo angry last night. I swore he was going to phase right in our living room."

"Did he phase at all?"

"No, but he did put a decent size hole through my wall," she said.

"I'm sorry, Anna."

"Don't be. I told him that he needs to grow up. You can't help what you feel. I told him you imprinted on Edward years ago. This is your destiny."

"What did he say to that?"

"Hasn't talked to me since," she laughed. "It's ok, he'll get over it."

"Or not. What I say to him today is probably just going to add fuel to his fire. But, really, please don't argue with Jake, at least not about Edward and me."

She looked at me for a moment. "You're going to marry him, aren't you? Is that what you're here to tell Jacob?"

I nodded. "I love him."

She came around the counter and hugged me. "I know you do, Bella. And for all it's worth…I'm happy for you." She nudged me towards the entrance to the garage. "Good luck."

I didn't see Jake at first, until I noticed his feet sticking out from under an ancient jalopy.

I kicked his boot and called out to him. "Jake?"

He didn't answer. "Jake, I need to talk to you." I said a little louder.

"Hmm?" He grumbled.

"I'd kind of like to see you when I am talking to you," I said.

He rolled out from under the car, but didn't stand. He stared at me without saying a word.

"Thanks."

He nodded. Why was he so darn difficult? I crouched down next to him. "Do you have some time to talk?" I asked. "I thought maybe we could take a walk down to the beach."

He finally stood and headed over to the sink to wash his grimy hands. I was obviously getting the silent treatment. So… that's how we walked until we got to the beach, in complete silence. He finally turned to me then and began to speak.

"I don't know what you want me to say," he started with an agitated tone. "I hate that he's come between us again. I hate knowing I hurt you last night. But, Bella, I just can't help the way I feel about him."

"Neither can I. Jake, if I told you to stop loving Anna could you do it?"

"It's not the same, Bella. Anna and I are soul mates. I imprinted on her."

"Could you do it?" I questioned him again.

"No…of course not…"

I cut him off. "Well that's how it is with Edward and me. I love him. Jake, you know I've always loved him. He has always owned my heart. I cannot be without him again. I shouldn't have to be."

He continued to walk down the beach without looking at me.

"Jacob, I'm going to marry him…on Saturday." My heart was beating wildly in anticipation of his reaction.

He stopped abruptly. His face turned a dark shade of red and his fists clenched down close to his sides. He was so angry that his whole body shook. "You can't! Are you crazy, Bella? He's a frickin' blood-sucking vampire. You can't have a normal relationship with him. Do you have a death wish?"

"Don't be ridiculous." I said calmly.

He turned me around to face him, holding me by my arms. "Me? I'm the one being ridiculous? You will never truly be able to live as husband and wife. Never! Do you understand what I am saying? You'll never be able to consummate your marriage. For God's sake, he'd kill you," he yelled.

"That is truly none of your business! But even if it were, you know that I won't always be this fragile, Jake," I said harshly.

He let out a horrible growl then, interpreting correctly the meaning of what I had said. "Oh, so that's the plan? And just when is that going to happen?" he snarled.

"I don't know. We haven't really discussed a time frame. Soon though…"

"So, the bloodsucker is going to break the treaty, then?" he demanded.

I raised my voice now, too. "Does it really count if the person being bitten wants to be? Because, Jake, I want to be bitten! I want to be changed." Then I softly added, "It's the only way. I love him more than anything, Jake."

He sat on a large piece of driftwood and put his head in his hands. I joined him, watching the waves roll onto the shore. We sat there for a long time in silence. When I saw his color had returned to normal and his breathing had calmed, I laid my hand on his arm and began to speak, quietly.

"Jake. I love you…you know that. You have been the best friend that I ever could have asked for. You're like a brother to me…family. I had hoped that you loved me enough so that you could get past this…that we could get past this. But, I need you to know I am going to marry Edward with or without your blessing. I had hoped you would be the one to give me away."

Those words incited him again. "Never! And that is the problem, Bella….I do love you…too much to give you to that leech!"

I stood up, fighting to hold back my tears. "Alright then. I guess I've said everything I needed to say." And then I walked away. He didn't follow me. But then again, I hadn't expected him to.

As I reached the parking lot for Jake's garage, Anna ran out to meet me. "Not good?" she asked.

I shook my head, tears running silently down my face. "Nope…Anna, the wedding will be on Saturday. I hope you will still come...if he lets you."

"Wouldn't miss it, Bella," she said enveloping me in her arms. I broke down and cried harder now. "It's okay, Bella. He _will_ get over it. He just needs more time than the rest of us."

"I had hoped he'd walk me down the aisle since my dad is gone," I said, wiping at my tears.

She nodded, not knowing what to say.

"I'll let you know the wedding location and time as soon as everything is set," I said, giving her one more quick squeeze before leaving.

I started the car and turned on to the dirt road. The car seemed to be driving itself…right to Seth's house. He was outside hacking down weeds when I pulled up. As soon as he noticed it was me, ran over to the car and greeted me with a huge, happy grin. "Bella! To what do I owe this honor?"

"Jacob! He's being an unreasonable idiot!" I fumed, slamming my car door.

"Hmm…let me guess. This having anything to do with Edward?"

I nodded angrily.

"I figured as much. He's been in a crappy mood all week. Did something happen today to make it worse?" He ran his hands through his long brown hair, awaiting my answer.

"I went to talk to him… to let him know that Edward and I are getting married on Saturday. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle."

"Oh geeze. I bet that went over REAL well," he joked.

I snorted. "Yeah…"

"Come 'ere, Bella." Seth took me into a brotherly hug. "We've always been close. If you'd like, I'd be happy to walk you down the aisle."

A tear rolled down my cheek. "You'd do that for me, Seth?"

"Absolutely."

"Jake will kill you, you know."

"Nah. I'm not worried about it. Just tell me where and when to show up and I'll be there. I'll even wear a monkey suit," he laughed.

"Thanks, Seth. This really means a lot to me. I'll let you know the details as soon as I can. Alice has been working on plans all day. That's where I'm headed right now - to the Cullens' house," I told him as I opened my car door.

He gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Jacob is just a little glitch in your plans, Bella. Don't let him ruin this for you. He will get over this in time."

"That's exactly what Anna said, too. But I'm not so sure, Seth. You didn't see him."

"Stop…really it's not like you told him that Edward was changing you into a vampire, Bella. You just told him you're getting married."

I stared at him.

"Oh…oh…oh shit. That's what you told him?" He asked in disbelief.

I nodded.

"Aw, man," he said shaking his head. "Are you sure, Bella? Are you sure that's what you want?"

I nodded again. "It's the only way it could ever work, Seth. You know that."

He stared at me for a minute, and then nodded his head. Taking a deep breath he said, "You're right. I can't see any other way it could really work either."

"Thank you, Seth," I said, hugging him.

He patted me on the back. "Nothing to thank me for. You can't change who or what you love. You need to be with him. I've known that forever. Vampire or not, Jake won't be able to stay mad at you. He loves you almost as much as he loves Anna."

I smiled, still not holding out hope for Jake. "I'll call you soon," I shouted from the car window as I drove away.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It was past lunchtime by the time I got back into Forks and I was starving. I stopped at my house for a quick sandwich before I headed over to Edward's. As I ate, I dialed Renee's phone number, hoping I would catch her at home so that I could tell her my good news. The phone rang several times before her answering machine clicked on telling me to leave a message.

"Hi, Mom. It's me. I have some really big news to share with you. Call me as soon as you get this message. I'll have my cell phone on, too. Love you!"

I hung up and dialed the bookstore. Angela answered cheerfully, "Bella's Books. How can I help you today?"

"Hi, Angela. It's me. How are things going at the store?" I asked.

"A little slow today, but it's a Wednesday, so nothing unusual about that. How are the wedding plans going?"

"I'm about to see Alice, so I'll know soon. But, I wanted to ask you if your dad would be willing to perform the ceremony on Saturday."

"I asked him already and he'd be happy to officiate the ceremony, Bella. Do you want to be married right at the church?"

"No, I don't think so. The weather is supposed to be beautiful this weekend. Surprisingly, the weatherman predicted Saturday to be warm and rain free…a rare combination here in September. I thought maybe we'd have the ceremony outside. Of course, Alice…"

She laughed, "I hear you. Alice might have different plans."

"Ang, honestly, I'm a little scared to go over there today."

She laughed again. "If you need my help, I can come over after I close the store up for the night."

"OK, I'll call you and let you know. Thanks. Oh, and put up a sign in the window saying that the bookstore will be closed on Saturday."

"What did you two decide about a honeymoon?" Angela questioned.

"Another one of the things we've yet to discuss, " I said.

"One thing at a time…it will all work out."

"I know. Thanks for saying it, though. I'll talk to you soon," I said, hanging up.

I looked around at my little house. I wondered where we would live…here in my little house or up at the Cullen's house? There were positives to both locations, I guess. My house was private and Edward and I could live alone…pro. Edward's house was lavishly beautiful with every amenity a woman could want…pro. I wondered what Edward would prefer. Hmm…something else to discuss.

I packed myself some dinner to eat later and headed over to Edward's. I was lost in wedding ideas when my cell phone started to vibrate in my pocket. I glanced quickly at the caller id to see that it was Renee returning my call. I pulled over on the shoulder of the road so that I could talk to her without having to navigate the winding curves of the highway.

"Hi, Mom," I answered.

"Hi, Bella. Oh, it's so good to hear your voice. I miss you, Honey."

"I miss you too, Mom. Hopefully we can see each other very soon…like how about Saturday?"

"Saturday? What do you have up your sleeve, Bella?"

"I'm getting married, Mom!"

"Married?" She let out a screech of happiness. "Oh my gosh, Bella…to who?"

"Edward…he's back, Mom, and we love each other. The past few days have been a whirlwind but we don't want to wait any longer. We got the marriage license this morning. Angela's dad will marry us on Saturday."

"Oh, Bella. Oh, honey…I'm so happy for you both. Edward…who would have thought?"

"So, Mom, can you come? I'll order the tickets online for you and Phil tonight."

"Baby, I wish I could but I'm in running a charity function down here on Saturday night. I'm so sorry. It's just such short notice and I've been working on this for months."

"It's OK, Mom. We'll be sure to take lots of pictures." I tried to hide my disappointment from her.

"Maybe you can come down and visit me for a while. It's been a while since you were in Florida. The sun will do you both some good." she said.

"Sure, we'll try to do that soon. I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Bella. Tell Edward I'm so happy for you both."

When we disconnected, I continued on my way to the Cullen house. I wondered when or if I really would be able to see Renee again. Everything was dependent on "the change" and how I reacted to it. I knew that once I became a vampire, I would have to leave Forks behind for a while…maybe for good. Should I sell the house…close the bookstore? These were more topics to discuss with Edward.

There were four cars parked out in front of the house when I arrived at the house. I recognized Edward's black Corvette ZR1, Alice's yellow Ferrari California and Carlisle's Mercedes. I didn't recognize the silver Hummer, though. Hmmm…company?

I heard laughter as I stepped up onto the porch to ring the bell. Edward was at the door before my finger had time to press the button. He greeted me with my favorite smile.

"You have some people here to see you," he said, leading me into the house.

I was puzzled. "I do? Who?" I scanned the room, which was empty of people and of voices now.

"Me!" a booming voice said, as I was lifted in the air from behind.

"Emmett!"

He turned me to face him, hugging me in midair. "Hey, Bella you look great! Man, I'm glad Edward finally came to his senses."

I laughed. "Yeah, me too! Where have you been?"

"Rose and I were still in Africa with Jasper. We were waiting to see what happened between the two of you before we headed back to the states."

"Are they both here with you? "

"Rosalie's here," he said, glancing at Edward.

"Not Jasper?" I looked at Edward now, too.

"No," Edward answered. "We figured it was best not to take any chances before you were changed."

"Oh, Edward. I'm sure everything would be fine. Jasper shouldn't have to miss his brother's wedding or be away from Alice for so long."

"It was both of our decisions. He couldn't risk ruining our chance for happiness this time. And I…well, Bella I can't take any chances this time either. I can't lose you," he said seriously, looking me in the eyes.

"Hi, Bella," Rosalie's voice broke through the moment.

"Hi, Rose," I said, turning to face her. She was still as stunning as ever, and still just as young. Come to think of it Emmett looked just the same, too. Neither of them had changed one bit. How would we handle that at the wedding?

Rosalie had never liked me and I instantly felt the tension take root in my body from just being in the same room with her. To be perfectly honest I would have rather taken my chances with Jasper and had him attend the wedding than have Rose here. Rose had not been quiet about her feelings for me in the past and from the glare she was giving me, I was fairly sure her feelings hadn't softened much over the years.

"Rosalie has offered to play the piano for the wedding ceremony," Edward said, pulling me close to his side.

"Oh…thanks, Rose."

"You're welcome," she said flatly.

Alice and Edward's parents came into the room then. "There's our beautiful bride," Esme said, coming to hug me.

"I get her now," Alice claimed, pulling me out of Esme's arms and leading me into the dining room. "We can't afford to waste any time on anything that is not wedding related and there are a lot of decisions that still have to be made tonight."

Edward followed us and mouthed, "I'm sorry."

I was actually relieved that Alice had taken me a distance away from Rosalie. I could already feel the uncomfortable sensations dissipate.

Alice had paperwork spread out all over their table. "I have a million questions that you need to answer tonight so that all of the plans can be finalized by tomorrow. So let me just go down my list of questions and get them checked off one by one."

I nodded and looked at Edward, who was smiling in amusement at his sister. "Alice, I told you today, Bella and I could just elope and make your life a whole lot easier."

She glared at him. "I'm going to pretend you never said that, Edward. You will cooperate with me! This will be the wedding Bella deserves!"

I held back a snicker and squeezed Edward's hand. Alice was clearly in crisis planning mode.

"OK, first…Bella, did you speak with Angela's father? Is he willing to perform the ceremony?"

"I spoke to Angela just before I came here. Reverend Weber will definitely be able to officiate."

"Good," she said, dramatically putting a check next to the first item on the list. "Next… have you decided on the location?"

Edward and I looked at each other. "How about here at the house, Bella? We could have a moonlight garden wedding."

"That sounds perfect, Edward. Alice, do you think you can work with that?"

"Absolutely," she said, smiling for the first time tonight. "That will make things easy on me, since Esme's perennial garden is in full bloom. Can you believe that the flowers have still been blooming every year? Now then," she continued pushing a piece of paper over towards Edward and me, "…the guest list. I came up with a preliminary list that I'd like you to take a look at. Then we'll just address the invitations and you and Edward can deliver them tonight."

I moved the paper between Edward and me so that we could read the list at the same time.

Bella Edward

Renee and Phil Carlisle and Esme

Angela and Ben Emmett and Rose

Jessica and Mike Alice

Jacob and Anna Tanya, Kate, and Irina

Seth, Leah and Sue Carmen and Eleazar

Sam and Emily

Quil and Claire

Embry

I was impressed. Alice had known to keep the list small. "This looks good but I have some names to cross out," I said. "I spoke with my mom today and she can't make it, so Renee and Phil are out. Jacob won't be there, and honestly I'm not sure the rest of the pack will either, with the exception of Seth that is."

Edward looked at me with concern. "It's been a hard day for you, hasn't it?"

"I'm OK…I have you, don't I?" I smiled and gave him a quick kiss before looking back at Alice.

"Well, we'll invite them and let them decide for themselves," she said.

"Alice…I really don't want to go back to the Rez tonight to deliver those."

"Do you think Seth would pick up the invitations and deliver them for you?" Alice asked.

"I could ask," I said, flipping open my cell phone.

Seth answered on the second ring. "Hey, Bella…you got some news for me?"

"Yep, we're just putting together the invitations. Are you doing anything Saturday night at 7:00?"

"Just givin' away the prettiest woman in Forks." I could tell by his voice that he was smiling that great big smile of his. "Where's it gonna be?" he asked.

"At Edward's house. Are you going to be OK with that?"

"This is your day, Bells. I'll be OK with whatever you decide."

"Seth…Could you do me one more huge favor?"

"Anything, Bella. Just ask."

"Would you be willing to pick up the invitations and deliver them to the pack tonight?"

"Sure…I can deliver them to everybody you're inviting if you'd like. I'm just sittin' here anyway."

I looked at Alice. She had heard what he said and was nodding her head "yes."

"That'd be great, Seth. What time can you be here?"

"I'll be there in an hour."

"K…bye Seth." I closed my phone and Alice handed me a simple, elegant invitation. It was white with gold lettering that read:

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_and_

_Edward Anthony Cullen_

_Joyfully invite you to share_

_In their happiness_

_As they unite in marriage_

_This Saturday, September 21, 2025_

_At seven o'clock in the evening_

_Cullen Residence_

_Forks, Washington_

Regrets only 360-555-1717

"It's perfect, Alice. Thank you."

Edward smiled over to Alice, "Told you she'd like them."

Alice called Esme and Carlisle in to start addressing the envelopes so that Alice could continue down her list. Emmett would run to Denali later tonight and deliver the invitations to the Denali Coven.

"Edward has asked Carlisle to be his best man at the wedding. Have you chosen a maid or matron of honor yet, Bella?" Esme sweetly asked me.

I was torn. On one hand I really wanted to ask Alice, but on the other hand, Angela had been my best female friend for the last twenty years. How in the world would Angela even get a dress on such short notice, though? Alice, I was sure, would have an assortment of dresses in her closet she could wear for the occasion. As if reading my mind, Alice interrupted my thoughts. "Bella, I really think you should ask Angela. She has been a very good friend to you over the years. And, I found the perfect dress for her this afternoon. If you call her and ask her before Seth gets here, he can take it over to her when he delivers her invitation."

I smiled at her. "You are really something, Alice. Do you know that? Oh, my gosh… I almost forgot, thank you for my dress. You were right as usual…it is exactly right!" I went around the table to hug her.

If she could blush, I think she would have. Her eyes sparkled like topaz gemstones and her smile lit up the room. "I just want everything to be perfect for the two of you."

I went out on the back porch to call Angela. The sun was starting to set and the sky glowed shades of pink, purple and red. What a gorgeous evening. I leaned on the porch rail and dialed Angela's number for the second time that day.

"Hi, Angela. I hope I'm not bothering you."

"Stop, you are never a bother. I've actually been waiting to see if you needed me to save you from Alice the Wedding Planner," she laughed.

I laughed too. "She's fine really. I actually was calling about something else. Ang, would you be my matron of honor?"

"Oh…Bella, really? I thought you might ask Alice. Oh…I'd be honored. Thank you!"

"I should be the one thanking you! Alice picked up a dress for you today. Seth can bring it over for you when he brings your invitation tonight."

"Geez, she does think of everything, doesn't she?"

"She is amazing," I agreed, and then filled her in on some sketchy details about Jake. There were a lot of holes in my story, but once again in true Angela form, she took my story for what it was. She got the gist of the story…Jacob did not want me to marry Edward and would not be attending the wedding.

"I can't believe he'd miss your wedding, Bella. I just can't see it. He'll be there… watch."

"You are such an optimist, Angela! Anyway, call me after you try on the dress and let me know what you think." We said our goodbyes and disconnected.

The door to the house slid open and I turned to see Rosalie walk out on the porch. "Can I talk to you for a minute, Bella?"

"Um…OK," I stammered.

"Let's go for a walk," Rosalie said, stepping off the porch stairs.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I was frozen in my place. Rosalie turned to me, "Come on, Bella. I won't hurt you."

I willed my feet to move one in front of the other as I followed Rose through the backyard toward the forest. We walked in silence until she stopped at the edge of the stream that ran through their property. She stopped there and stared out into the trees, with her back to me.

"Rose," I started after waiting several minutes, "Seth will be at the house shortly. If you have something on your mind…"

"I'm sorry …for the way I've treated you. I'll try to be better." I stayed silent waiting for her to continue. She turned to face me then. "It's just that I've never really understood you, Bella. I mean, I know Edward told you about the jealousy I felt for you at first, but there were other, deeper reasons why I treated you so unkindly. Someday, I will tell you the whole story of how my change came to pass. You see, I didn't choose this way of life. And if there were a way to change my outcome, to be human again, I wouldn't hesitate. But you…you have always been so willing to throw all of that away. It bothered me. Honestly, it still does."

"I love him, Rose."

"I don't doubt that. I see the unbreakable bond you have. Neither time nor distance have changed your love for one another. I haven't seen Edward this happy since you were together twenty years ago. It's like he's come back to life again. Not that you need it, but I give you my blessing and I welcome you to our family. And, I promise you that I will try to be nicer."

I was touched. I had so not expected this. "Thank you, Rose. That means more than you can imagine."

We heard a thunderous noise then. She smiled, "Come on…let's get back up to the house before Edward and Emmett knock it to the ground. It sounds like they might be wrestling."

Sure enough, as we neared the garage, the noise got louder. Edward and Emmett were indeed wrestling and every move they made sounded like boulders crashing into one another. They were on the ground, laughing like crazy when we came through the door. It was good to see the two of them having such a good time.

"Everything, alright?" Edward asked, getting up and walking towards me.

I laughed, "I think we should be asking you two that question."

"Everything's fine here, I just won another wrestling match against Emmett."

Emmett broke in, "You only win because you keep reading my mind and know what moves you'll need to block! I need to find an opponent that isn't a mind reader…someone that fights fair. Wanna have a go at it, Rose?"

She sashayed back towards the house calling over her shoulder, "There's only one kind of wrestling I like, Monkey Man, and you know where to find me if you're up for that."

Emmett didn't have to be asked twice. He practically ran to the house. I blushed as Edward looked over at me. "That is what we will have to put up with if we live here," he laughed. I grimaced at that thought.

"Actually, Edward, we haven't spoken about where we will live yet. Were you thinking we would live here or that you'd move into my house?"

"I think you should decide. We won't be in Forks for long so wherever you are happiest, we will be."

"How long do you think we'll be here?"

"It all depends on how soon you want to be changed. After you become a vampire, we'll need to live in an uninhabited area so that you don't risk running into humans. Bloodlust will be very strong for the first year or two. It's better not to tempt yourself unnecessarily."

"Where will we go?" I asked.

"There is a secluded place that Carlisle and Esme own. I'm going to ask them if we could borrow it for a while." He smiled, "You'll love it, Bella. It's one of my favorite places in the world."

We heard gravel crunching under the wheels as Seth's car came up the drive, so we walked out to meet him.

"Sorry, I'm a little late, Bella. I got another phone call right after I hung up with you," Seth offered.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you tell him…about walking me down the aisle."

He nodded. "And?" I asked.

"Let's just say I've heard truckers use better language."

"I'm sorry, Seth. I shouldn't have put you in the middle of this."

"I told you, Bella…you can't worry about what Jake thinks. This is your life." He reached out to shake Edward's hand. "Congratulations, Buddy."

"Thanks, Seth. Glad you'll be celebrating our big day with us."

I gathered all the invitations from the house along with Angela's dress and took them back out to Seth. "I really appreciate this. I couldn't bear to go back to the Rez tonight."

He smiled knowingly and got into his car. "No problem, Bells. See you on Saturday. Call me if you need anything else."

My stomach rumbled loudly as Edward and I walked back into the house.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"Starving. I brought a sandwich with me," I said.

"Esme stocked the refrigerator with things for you too. Let me get you some fruit and a drink go with that."

We took my dinner into the living room that was now empty. Edward sat at the piano while I started to eat. "Dinner music?" he asked.

I nodded and he began to play. I recognized some of the melodies as Debussy and Mozart. He played with so much feeling that it was easy to get lost in his emotions. When I finished eating, I laid my head against the pillow of the sofa and closed my eyes, losing myself in the music. That's when he started to play the song I hadn't heard in two decades…the song he wrote for me…my lullaby. I cried silently as he played, not out of any kind of sadness, rather out of happiness that my life had finally come full circle and brought me back the one true love of my life. He stopped playing and came to me. "What is it, Love? Why are you crying?"

Without answering I reached for him, pulling him into an embrace, kissing his entire face. "I'm just so happy." We sat holding each other for a long time, until I fell asleep. My dreams were sweet…they were all about Edward.

I awoke to sun streaming through the front window and rainbows dancing on the wall.

The smell of cinnamon, bacon and coffee hung in the air.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he said, kissing the top of my head. "Are you hungry?" I nodded. "Good. Esme has been cooking for you."

I sat up and stretched the stiffness out of my limbs. "How long have I been asleep?"

"About 9 hours. All this wedding planning has really tired you out."

Esme came in with a tray full of food. "Good morning, Bella. I hope you're hungry. I thought I'd try to cook for you this morning."

"Oh, Esme. You didn't have to do that for me." I eyed the tray. There were cinnamon rolls on one plate, crispy bacon slices on another, and a bowl of freshly cut orange slices. It looked delicious.

" I have coffee brewing, too. Do you take yours black or with cream and sugar."

"Cream and sugar, please," I answered while chewing happily on a piece of bacon. I was touched that Esme had thought to do this for me. She was mothering me. It was nice. I hadn't been mothered in a long time. A pang of sadness went through me when I thought about my own mother not being at the wedding. We hadn't been close since I had chosen to return to Forks after the whole ordeal with James in Phoenix, and then chose to stay in Forks when Edward left me.

When Esme brought in the coffee to me, I rose to give her a hug. "Thank you, Esme. This means so much to me…that you would have thought to do this for me."

"You are part of the family now, Bella. I'm glad to do this for you." She smiled and then left Edward and me alone.

"She loves you as her own, you know. They all do," Edward said, kissing my hair.

"And I love them."

"I'm glad Rosalie made peace with you. It was important to me," he said, gazing at nothing in particular.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Just about how lucky I am. I am just so lucky to have you back in my life."

"This isn't about luck, Edward. This is about destiny. We've always belonged together…right from that first moment that the lion and lamb fell in love."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The rest of the week went by quickly. Alice had everyone busy, making sure everything was just the way she wanted it. Before I knew it Friday night had arrived and Edward was leaving with Emmett and Carlisle for his "stag." In reality they were going hunting just north of the Canadian border. Alice had invited me to spend the night with her, but I declined. Since Edward and I had decided that we would live at the Cullen house, it would be my last night in Charlie's house…the last night in my tiny room in my tiny bed… alone. Tomorrow night Edward and I would share the beautiful bed he had bought for us. At least, that is where I thought we'd be staying. Edward was in charge of all the arrangements that would take place after the wedding. And, he wasn't willing to share his secrets…not about the honeymoon…or the wedding night. I tried to weasel the plans out of Alice, telling her I needed to know what to pack but she wouldn't give any hints.

She just told me not to worry about anything and that she had already packed a bag for me.

I crawled into bed, knowing I probably was too excited to really fall asleep. It would have really been good to have Jasper here tonight. I could definitely use some calming. I pulled my journal from my nightstand. My last entry was written, one week ago from tonight. Who would have guessed that after writing that tearful entry my entire life would be turned upside down and re-righted. I uncapped the pen and decided to write one final letter in this notebook.

My dearest Edward,

For years I have kept a journal of my deepest thoughts…things I would have told you had you been here. But you are here now and I can tell you all my hopes, dreams, and fears so tonight will be my last entry as I close this chapter of my life. It has always frustrated you that you couldn't read my mind, so I am giving you this and all of my journals so that you can know the thoughts I have had in the years we were apart. Please don't be sad when you read some of the more difficult parts, as it will only prove my undying love for you. I love you Edward.

Completely Yours,

Bella

***

Saturday proved to be a gorgeous day, although I had to admire it from the windows in Alice's dressing room. She had called to summon me up to the house shortly after I woke up. As soon as I saw her and Rosalie, I knew Alice had already been working her makeup magic, as she and Rosalie looked like they had aged significantly in the last twenty-four hours. In the hours that followed I had been soaked, massaged, buffed, waxed, lotioned and polished. The last things to be finished were my makeup and hair. Alice started on my makeup while Rosalie worked on my hair, following Alice's specific instructions. When they were satisfied with their handiwork, Alice took me by the hand and led me from the elaborate bathroom back into her dressing area. They called Esme and Angela in to help with the dress and pin the veil in my hair. "Have you seen yourself yet, Bella?" Angela asked excitedly.

"No. I'm too scared."

"Why? What is it you are afraid of, dear?" Esme asked. All four of them awaited my response.

"Well, it's just I've always known how plain I look standing next to Edward. I would like to fantasize that today maybe I look just a little less plain and seeing the truth reflected back to me might just break that fantasy."

"Bella," Alice said, turning me to face the full length mirror, "You don't need to fantasize. You look stunning."

I stared at my reflection. Looking back at me was a lovely dark haired woman. Her hair fell in smooth spiral curls cascading from the intricate braiding that held her hair in a half updo. Her skin was cream and roses. The woman was me and…well I was beautiful. "Oh, Alice, Rosalie, thank you," I managed, my voice full of emotion.

"Don't cry!" Alice ordered. "You'll ruin your makeup."

Then Rosalie said, "Bella…it's almost time. I'm going to start playing some music on the keyboard."

"And I'm going to start greeting guests," Esme added, giving me a final hug.

Almost as soon as they shut the door, there was a knock. Alice went to the door and spoke loudly, "Edward, go away. You are not seeing her before the ceremony." There was no response, so she opened it a crack and peeked out. "Oh… um…Bella…there's someone here to see you."

She opened the door wider to reveal a very handsomely dressed Jacob. He stood, not knowing whether he should enter the room or not. Angela excused herself out of the room. Alice ushered him in and then headed to the bathroom to get dressed, yelling over her shoulder, "Do…Not…Cry!"

That was a hard request to honor because that was exactly what my eyes wanted to do. I was happy and scared at once. Happy because if Jacob was here in a tuxedo, that must mean he was staying for the wedding and scared of what he came to say to me.

"You look amazing," Jake said softly.

"Thanks, you look pretty great yourself."

There was a pause.

"I'm glad you're here," I said.

"Yeah. Me too…Bella…I'm sorry. I've been such a jerk." I was literally willing the tears not to come.

"Why…why did you decide to come?" I asked him.

"Anna…and Seth. They helped me to see that I didn't have to lose you. That I…I was the one pushing you away…cutting you off. Anna told me that I didn't have right to tell you who you could love…that it was beyond your control anyway…that you couldn't stop loving him. I spent a lot of time thinking. So… here I am."

"Oh, Jacob," I said, hugging him. "This is the best wedding gift you could have ever given me."

He hugged me back. "I know you said you didn't need it, but I'm going to say it anyway…Bella, I give you my blessing." It was the second time this week that two of the most unlikely people told me that.

The tears spilled over now and I hurried to dab them up. "I love you, Jake."

"I love you too, Bells," he said emotionally. He changed his tone to a more animated one and said, "Now let's get this show on the road. I've got a bride to give away."

"But, Seth…"

"Seth knows all about this. We're tight…besides, who do you think gave me the tux?" We both laughed. I would have to make sure to thank Seth tonight…for everything.

Alice opened the door then. "Are you ready? Angela is waiting to start her walk down into the garden."

I nodded and Jake took my arm and led me outside into the twilight. I heard Rosalie playing the keyboard and saw our friends turn to watch Angela start down the stone walkway through the garden. She looked lovely in the jade green gown that Alice had purchased for her.

Then it was our turn. The music changed to the traditional wedding march as Jacob and I entered the garden. The candles flickered in the gentle breeze as I walked under trellises dripping with orange blossoms, lilacs and white lights. Those must have cost a fortune because neither of them were in season in Forks. I glanced around at our little crowd and finally found what my eyes were searching for. At the end of the aisle, waiting for me, I saw Edward's perfect face. He was dressed in a black tuxedo and looked so astonishingly handsome that I made an audible gasp when I saw him. He met my eyes and smiled a breathtaking full on smile. Jacob led me to him and put our hands together.

Mr. Weber asked, "Who gives this woman?"

"I do," Jacob said clearly, before taking his seat.

Mr. Weber had us repeat the traditional wedding vows he had offered at so many weddings before ours. Then he turned to our friends and said, "Edward and Bella will now share some words that they have written for each other as they give each other their rings." He gestured towards Edward to begin.

Edward looked deeply into my eyes, his own golden orbs overflowing with emotion.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." (Meyer, 2008, _New Moon_, Chapter 23). He continued, "Now that you have returned to my life the world has beauty and meaning again. I have a reason for my life." He lifted my left hand and placed the gold band on my ring finger, saying these words, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love…with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you in front of God and all these witnesses. I will love you and cherish you all the days of my life."

Forgetting anyone was in the garden with us, I held his hand and spoke, "Edward, before you came into my life, I never knew true joy…never fully experienced the beauty of the world or the happiness life could bring. Then you came into my life and my heart opened itself to you. When you left, you took part of my heart with you. I've lived with that missing piece, never finding anything or anyone who could make me whole again…until you returned. You have made my heart and my life complete once more." I reached for his left hand and putting the ring on his finger said, "I give you this ring as a token of my love for you. I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will become as your wife. With this ring I join my life to yours."

Mr. Weber put his hands over ours and said, "Now that Edward and Bella have given themselves to each other by the promises they have exchanged, I pronounce them to be husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Edward, you may kiss your bride."

Edward kissed me tenderly as he held me in a cool embrace. I never wanted this moment to end. Because I was unwilling, he broke the kiss and, holding my hand, turned us to face our family and friends. Mr. Weber said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you…Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen."

The small crowd clapped their hands as we walked down the aisle together for the first time as husband and wife.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The little crowd followed us to the back porch of the house. The dark of the night was lit by thousands of twinkling lights hanging from the trees and the tent that covered the dance floor. Luminaries lined the walkway and the steps. Candles flickered on each table and were reflected back by the large windows that covered the entire back of the house. The night had a magical quality about it. I felt like I was floating in a dream.

I turned to look at Edward and sighed. I just couldn't believe this dazzling man was now my husband. There couldn't possibly be anyone more handsome in the entire world and he was mine.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" he asked, kissing my hand.

I laughed. "Honestly? I was thinking about how dazzling you look tonight."

He smiled. "You are the one dazzling everyone tonight, Bella. Your beauty takes my breath away." I could feel the blush creep over my cheeks. "Oh, how I'm going to miss that," Edward said as he caressed my cheek with his thumb.

Our guests had followed us back to the reception area and gathered to embrace and congratulate us. I was surprised that everyone we invited was able to make it on such short notice. Edward introduced me to his Denali "family." I took particular notice of the beautiful strawberry blonde vampire named Tanya. How Edward had passed her up for me, I would never understand. As if reading my thought, he turned and whispered in my ear, "No competition…ever!"

After everyone ate and the cake ceremony was finished, we wiped the frosting from our faces and headed to the dance floor for the traditional first dance. Emmett, playing DJ, introduced us and started the music. I looked up at Edward, stunned that he would have thought to play this song - Flightless Bird - the song we had danced to on our prom night under the beautiful gazebo. Edward took me in a gentle embrace and led me effortlessly around the dance floor. "Are you enjoying yourself, my beautiful wife?" he asked.

"I am. It's everything I've always dreamed of. We need to thank Alice for all of this."

As the dance ended, Jacob approached and asked if he could have a talk with us both. He led us off the dance floor to a gathering of people whom I now realized were all the members of the pack. I stiffened. I was sure I knew what this was about and it was nothing good. This, I knew, must be the pack reminding us about the treaty. Was that the real reason Jacob had shown up at the wedding? I instantly tensed as I felt anger rising in my body. Edward squeezed my hand. "It's not what you think, Bella," he whispered. "Everything will be fine."

Jacob spoke in a low, solemn tone. "For many years, the Cullens and the Quilete nation have lived peacefully, honoring the treaty that was forged so many years ago." He turned to directly face me. "Bella, I know the depth of your desire to be one with Edward. Although I cannot understand your wish to become a vampire, I respect the intensity of your love and devotion to him. I have come to believe that he will love and honor you with all of his being. As the pack's Alpha, I hereby amend the original treaty, allowing one and only one exception… Edward, you may take Bella and make her all you both desire her to be. However, I must warn you, that if there is any kind of…hmm… accident, we will avenge her and you will rue the day you were born."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Edward replied seriously.

Jake shook Edward's hand and hugged me in a warm embrace. "May the Great Spirit be with you both," he said. Each member of the pack followed Jake, shaking Edward's hand and hugging me. Then, Seth broke the seriousness of the mood. "Alright, now that that's all taken care of, let's get that dance floor hopping!" Everyone followed him except for Edward, Jacob and me.

"Jake, I know how hard that must have been for you. Thank you so much," I said, hugging him again.

He nodded and then faced Edward. "Take care of my girl, OK?"

Edward smiled, taking my hand in his. "I will. But Jake, Bella's hardly what I'd call a girl anymore. And…actually she's mine."

Jake nodded, smiling. "Yeah, she's turned into quite the beautiful woman. Will you let me steal a dance with her?"

Edward handed me off to Jake and we walked to the dance floor. "You are a terrific guy, Jacob Black," I said, as we danced.

"Yeah, I know," he laughed.

He held me close and silently led me around the dance floor. Then he pulled back to look at me. "I know this is a weird time to bring this up but, do you ever think about what might have happened if I hadn't imprinted on Anna?"

I nodded, "Hmm…we would have each missed the love of our life. It's how it was meant to be, Jake."

"Hmpf…yeah, you're right, Bella. Still love you though." He kissed the top of my head and we finished the dance in silence.

Renee called to talk to Edward and me, wishing us love and a happy future. Then, Edward and I danced with everyone, it seemed, before we finally found ourselves dancing in each other's arms once again. "Welcome back, Mrs. Cullen," he teased. "I've missed you."

"Mrs. Cullen," I repeated. "I like the sound of that."

He smiled his beautiful crooked smile. "Me, too…more than you know." I lost myself in his embrace for several more songs until I heard Alice calling my name.

"Bella, I think its time you said goodbye to your guests. We need to get you ready to leave for tonight's accommodations." Although I was annoyed that she interrupted our romantic moment, I was also very eager to get started on the remainder of my wedding night. So, Edward and I said our goodbyes and thanked everyone for coming. I hugged Seth and Anna, saving my last goodbye for Jacob.

"Bells, you will call me to let me know about any upcoming changes?" Although it was worded as a question, it was more of a statement.

"I'll let you know, Jake, before or after. Promise."

Alice pulled me up the stairs into her bedroom and helped me back out of the dress she had zipped me into just hours ago. Laid out on her bed was a beautiful white lace teddy. "Put that on first, Bella." It was frillier than I was used to but I wasn't about to argue with her. When I had it on, she gave me a white velour jogging suit to put on over it and put a backpack over my shoulders. I must have looked confused because she laughed at my expression. "You'll understand in a few minutes. Just trust me."

"Alice, before I leave, I just want to thank you. You made this day seem like a fairy tale. I couldn't have asked for a better wedding…or a better sister."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," she smiled, hugging me.

Alice went to open the door, sensing that Edward was waiting on the other side. He was dressed in a silver track suit and running shoes. "Ready?" he asked, beaming at me. I nodded.

We said our goodbyes to Alice and he led me to his room. He opened the glass doors and told me to get on his back. "We're running?" I asked.

"Yes…and that's all I'm telling you!" he laughed, helping me up. And then he was running.

***

It was a perfect night for running. The air was cool but moist and it felt soft on my skin as Edward maneuvered through the dark trees. We streaked through the night heading towards our unknown destination. In just a few minutes, he slowed to a walk as we reached the edge of the forest. He helped me down and held my hand as we walked out of the black of the trees. It took a moment for me to realize where I was and what I was seeing. Edward watched me intently, waiting for me to understand where we were.

A beautiful fire flickered in the night, casting a glow on the satin bedding that was to be our wedding bed. I looked at Edward, his eyes full of love. "I…I don't know what to say. It's perfect."

He embraced me. "I'm so glad you like it. I thought it was perfect, too. What better place could there be for us to spend our wedding night besides our meadow?" He kissed me, then…so deeply that I forgot how to breathe. He pulled back and ran his fingers through my hair. "I love you so much," he whispered. My heart was beating wildly now and I knew that he could hear it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips back down to mine. I sensed a bit of tension in his embrace but as the kiss deepened again, that all faded away. Removing my right hand from his hair, I unzipped the zipper on my jacket. Edward's lips moved softly across my jaw and down to the hollow of my throat, his breathing growing as uneven as mine. He pushed the jacket from my shoulders. Surprised by what he saw underneath, he drew in a deep breath, gliding his hands over my arms. He held my gaze as I removed his jacket, revealing his muscular chest. Gently, I glided my hands over his chest. Holding me close to him, he whispered, "Bella, I said we'd try. But if I hurt you at all, you need to let me know right away." When he pulled back slightly, his face looked pained.

I caressed his face with my hand, "Edward, you're not going to hurt me. We've waited our whole lives for this night. I am not afraid."

His eyes smoldered as he took my hand and led me to the makeshift bed. I removed my pants, leaving on only the white lace teddy. Without saying a word but keeping his eyes on me, he slid off his pants and stood facing me in only a pair of black silk boxers. Then lifting me gently he placed me in the middle of the bed and kissed me. His cold tongue outlined my lower lip, sending chills through my body. "You are so beautiful," he said, beginning the kiss that would take us to into unknown territory. Every touch, every kiss incited the fire within until we reached the point of no return. "Please, Edward…now," I whispered. The lace that had been the only thing between us was now in tatters on the ground. Edward groaned and let go of any remaining resolve he had…taking me to places I had never been. And then…we revisited those places again and again. Until exhausted and sated, I finally fell into a blissful sleep.

****

Waking up in Edward's arms had always been my favorite way to start the day. Waking up in Edward's arms…wearing his wedding ring… watching the sunrise… in the meadow was over the top. Feelings of happiness and elation flowed through my body. I was Mrs. Edward Cullen…Bella Cullen. I smiled and rolled to face him. "Hi," I said, trying to sound sexy.

"Hi, yourself," he replied, kissing the top of my nose. He tried to smile, but the smile never made it to his eyes.

I rose up on my elbows to see him better. "Edward, what's wrong?" There was worry in my voice.

"Look," he said, pointing over our heads. The floor of the meadow closest to the bed was destroyed. Chunks of grass and soil were ripped out of the ground. "I did that…trying to divert some excess energy, trying to hold myself back."

I laughed. "That's what you are so worried about?"

"No. I'm angry at myself for being so selfish." I wasn't understanding him, so he continued. "Bella, I knew how much this meant to you…to have the first time be a human experience. Even though I knew how incredibly dangerous it would be, I thought once would satiate us both for a while until you decided you were ready to be changed. But last night was horribly dangerous, Bella. Each time we made love, I tasted the venom filling my mouth. As you slept all I could think about was you waking up, so that we could make love again. It was the most incredible night of my life. But now…now I find myself wanting you to change…hoping it will be soon. Don't you see how selfish that is?"

I kissed him. "Edward, it's not selfish…it's what I want, too. I'm ready. Do you want to change me now?"

"No…I want us to enjoy our honeymoon first. I CAN control myself," he said more for himself than for me.

"But can I?" I teased, climbing on top of him.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

We arrived back at the Cullen house midmorning. I tried to convince Edward to take a shower with me before we left for the airport, but he refused, saying that he wouldn't take any more unnecessary chances with me. So, here I was in the shower by myself, pondering how the rest of the honeymoon was going to go. Were we going to make love again on our honeymoon? Probably not. Would he even touch me? Again…probably not. That thought made me very sad. I was finally Edward's wife, and he was still going to impose regulations on our physical intimacy. Why couldn't he see that he would never hurt me? Last night had gone better than I had even hoped…but now, he was going to shut himself back down until he changed me. Then why wait to be changed? That's what I wanted to know. Shouldn't I have any say in this? Yes…I should…and I would do everything I could to break his resolve. This would be our honeymoon…in every sense of the word.

I heard Edward and Alice talking in the bedroom while I dried off. His voice sounded tense and hers sounded adamant. Where they quarreling? I could only hear bits and pieces of the conversation…change of plans…be prepared…Carlisle…chances…Bella wants. My curiosity was getting the best of me so I quietly peeked out of the bathroom door. Alice heard the door and immediately turned to face me. She quickly looked back to Edward who took a deep breath and nodded his head at her. Whatever the problem was it looked like it had been resolved and judging the look on Alice's face, I'd say she won the argument. Alice left us alone in the room and I waited for Edward to say something. When he didn't, I asked, "What was that about? You sounded like you were arguing."

"Nothing to worry yourself about, Love. Our plans are going to change a bit. She had a vision that I don't particularly put much merit in. But, you know Alice…in this case it just isn't worth standing my ground. Anyway, the change in our plans necessitates our leaving for the airport within the hour."

"What did she see?"

"Honestly, Bella, don't even worry your pretty little head about it. It's nothing…really."

By one o'clock Edward and I were on a plane heading for Dallas, which he told me was where we would catch our connecting flight. Edward encouraged me to nap, saying that we had a long day ahead of us. The lack of sleep I had had last night made that offer very appealing and before I knew it, Edward was waking me to tell me we'd be landing soon. I brought my seat back into the upright position and smiled at Edward. He had a very somber look on his face and was holding one of my journals in his hands. "Not very light reading, huh?"

"I'm so sorry, Bella…"

I cut him off, putting my finger gently to his lips. "Edward, stop."

"We need to talk about some of these entries, though."

I sighed. I should have known as much. It looked to me that he had read the first of my journals…definitely the darkest of them all. "They're not all this way, Edward. The one you are reading…well, it was a very difficult time for me then."

The landing gear came down, ending our conversation for the time being. We hustled through the terminal, picking up something for me to eat, and then heading to our next gate. "San Jose, Costa Rica?" I asked, excitedly.

Edward smiled, "Just another stop." On this flight, I knew Edward would not encourage me to sleep. I could tell my journal entries were weighing heavily on his mind. As soon as the plane had climbed to a steady altitude, he was ready to talk. He turned to a page in the front of the journal and handed it to me, "Do you remember writing this?" he asked.

I read my own handwriting. _The doctor says I need to think about you in order to get over you. But as soon as I do, I can't breathe. I feel so broken I literally have to grab hold of myself to keep from falling apart. I know she's never had a patient like me before…I can't be honest with her. She'd think I was crazy. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe they need to lock me away. At least I wouldn't have to pretend that everything is all right when everything is so, so wrong. _

I looked back at Edward's beautiful face, so full of sadness, and nodded. "Charlie forced me to see a professional a couple of months after you left. I wasn't talking…wasn't eating. I woke up screaming from nightmares every night. He didn't know what else to do. One of the things the psychologist had me do was write to you in a journal. That's how I got started. She thought it might bring me some closure."

"If I knew…" he said, shaking his head. "How about this one?" He turned farther ahead to the time I had just started to learn to ride the motorcycle. My words read…_Today Jake and I went for my first motorcycle lesson. See - I can break my promises to you, too! Jake was worried that I'd get hurt. The threat of pain has taken on a different meaning than it once had. You were angry today. I heard you yelling at me to stop. You sounded like you actually cared…even though I know you don't. I'm guessing that these are delusions—really can't tell the doctor about those. I'm so angry with you. How could you leave me?_

I told Edward the story of my thrill seeking with the motorcycles. He winced at the thought of me on a bike by myself…without a helmet. "Were you trying to kill yourself, Bella?" he asked, sadly.

"No… I think I just wanted to hurt you like I was hurting. I wanted to break the promise that I made to you about staying safe. Plus the bonus of hearing your voice so vividly in my mind became like an addiction. The more risky my behavior was, the louder and longer you stayed with me."

"But, Bella…you could have been killed."

"Edward, at the time, that didn't seem like such a horrible thing."

I didn't like the mood this was putting Edward in so I tried to change the subject and ask him some questions about the next leg of our trip. Edward wasn't ready to move on though and brought the conversation back to my writings. He opened to a page where I had detailed my thoughts about Jacob. I reread my script. _I don't know what I would do without Jacob. I'm starting to feel a little more like a human being again, and I know I need to attribute that to him. When I'm with him, I actually feel the numbness start to lift. He's like my own personal dose of sunshine. I know he has different feelings for me than I do for him. I feel guilty when I let him hold my hand but his warmth feels so good…so comforting. He says he doesn't care that I'm not ready for a different kind of relationship yet…that he's not going anywhere. Truth is, I don't think I'll ever be ready …for anyone. Yet, I do love Jacob…God knows he'd be good to me. I just…oh, I don't know…Edward don't you miss me at all? Didn't you ever love me?_

Edward touched my chin and angled my face to his. "How could you ever have doubted my love for you, Bella? I never could understand how easily you bought my lie…how easily you let it negate every other thing I ever said to you." If it were possible, I think he would have been crying. "I will spend the rest of my existence making this up to you."

"You already have. You made me your wife," I said, staring into his golden eyes.

He drew his arms around me and pulled me close to him. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Leaving was such a wrong decision. If I could go back…"

"Edward, can we stop this for a while? Honestly, today should be about happy thoughts." He nodded and continued to hold me close, still deep in his own thoughts.

When we landed in San Jose, Edward hurried us right onto another flight. This time we boarded a small, domestic aircraft. In a short time, we were landing at a private airfield near the Pacific coastline. I sighed with relief. "Finally!"

"Not quite," he laughed. We walked out on the tarmac and immediately boarded a helicopter that was apparently waiting for us to arrive. To my surprise Edward took the pilot seat.

"You're flying?" I had fear in my voice.

"I have my pilot's license, Bella. Don't worry, you'll be safe with me." He planted a kiss on my forehead. Seeing Edward navigate the helicopter was unbelievable. He was smooth, calm and confident. I felt myself well up with pride for my husband.

"Is there anything that you can't do?" I teased him.

He laughed. "Honestly, Bella…" In just a few minutes, Edward excitedly said, "Look down, to your right. Do you see that?"

I could make out a small oval shaped object in the water. "Is it an island?"

He nodded. "Get ready for landing. That's our final stop."

"Where are we?" I asked, as we got out onto the helipad, staring into the darkness.

"This is Carl Isle," he answered.

"Carl Isle…as in Carlisle?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes, Carlisle and Esme each have an island named after them. They gave them as gifts to each other. They offered to let us use one of them for our honeymoon."

I shook my head in wonder. No one I knew owned an island…much less two. It struck me that I truly had no idea how much wealth I had married into. It also reminded me just to how generous his family was with gifts. I would have to get used to both of those things.

Edward took my hand in one of his and hauled our luggage with the other. We walked through the blackness of the jungle-like growth until I saw soft lights glowing in the distance. As we neared the light, I realized that they were coming from a house. Edward dropped the luggage and lifted me, wedding style, carrying me over the threshold. He carried me from room to room, giving me a tour of the house. It was open and airy, just like the house back in Forks, only decorated in pale yellows and blues. The last room he took me to was the master bedroom. It was a beautiful, large room dominated by an enormous white rattan bed and a wall of French doors. The doors were open and an ocean breeze was blowing the white lacey curtains into the room. Edward was watching for my reaction. "It's wonderful, Edward. The whole house…I mean. I can't believe we're here…on an island…all alone." I tried to hide my yawn from him. But he caught it and laughed.

"Why don't you go take a human moment and get ready for bed? You've had a long day."

He carried my luggage into the glamorous bathroom that was probably as large as my living room in Forks, and left me to get ready. I had no idea what Alice had packed for me to sleep in. I was exhausted though, so Edward would win the battle tonight. I wouldn't press him for physical affections. I needed all the strength I could garner for tomorrow. Tomorrow I would be attacking his defenses on all sides. I looked through my luggage. Everything was lacey and romantic or see through and naughty. I settled on a white gauzy chemise, the most innocent of the lot.

Edward smiled when he saw me come back into the bedroom. He was lying on the bed in a pair of cotton boxers and a white tank undershirt. He obviously was trying to go for the non-sexy look. Problem was…Edward looked sexy in anything…or nothing at all. In his hand was another one of my journals. "Nighttime reading?" I asked.

"It'll give me something to do while you sleep," he smiled, patting the mattress.

I lay down next to Edward, his cool skin refreshing in the heat of the room. "Would you like me to brush your hair, Bella?" he asked.

I reached over for my hairbrush and handed it to him. He gently pulled the brush through my hair, massaging my scalp and relaxing my whole body. I had always loved having my hair brushed as a little girl…now as a woman, my husband was treating me to this simple indulgence. I grew very relaxed…very secure…very protected…and very loved.

As I gently drifted into a peaceful sleep, the last thing I heard was Edward whisper, "I love you."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I woke up to the sounds of the tropics. I could hear birds singing, insects humming and waves gently hitting the shore. I smelled the salty ocean air mixed with the tangy scent of coffee brewing. When I finally opened my eyes, I realized I was alone in the bed. I got up and padded over to the kitchen to see if I could find Edward in there. Sure enough, he had his head in a cookbook and was whipping up something for me to eat for breakfast. Still in his bedclothes, he looked better than anyone in a kitchen had a right to.

"Good morning, Love. Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"I did…thank you. What are you cooking?" I asked, as I wound my arms around his waist.

"Omelets. You like eggs, right?"

I nodded, "Where did you get the food?"

"Alice called yesterday and had the caretakers bring up food from the mainland to stock the kitchen for us."

"Edward, you never did tell me. What plans did Alice make you change yesterday?"

He was silent for a minute before he answered. Then finally he said, "I originally planned to take you to Isle Esme. Alice insisted on Carl Isle instead."

"Why?" I asked.

His response was guarded and I noticed that he didn't look at me when he spoke. "For one thing, Carl Isle is closer to Forks than Isle Esme. Also, it's closer to the mainland for hunting…in case we extend our stay."

I wasn't satisfied with his answer so I pressed further. "Did she see something terrible happening at Isle Esme? Was someone going to hurt me…Victoria?"

"No, Bella…nothing like that," he said with his back to me.

"Edward, tell me. We are not starting married life with you keeping secrets from me." I was clearly annoyed.

He sighed and stared at me for a moment. "Fine. Alice had a vision that I would change you on our honeymoon. She thought we should be here instead of Isle Esme, because Carl Isle is closer to an uninhabited section of the mainland where you could safely hunt without running into any humans. I told her it didn't matter where we were because I would not change you without Carlisle nearby and certainly not on our honeymoon. I told her she had nothing to worry about. She was ridiculously adamant. So here we are. It's OK…when we get back to Forks I can tell her _I told you so_." He laughed at his last comment.

"But what if she's right? What if that is something I wanted to happen?" I questioned.

"It's not going to happen. We are going to enjoy our honeymoon. Besides, without Carlisle…well I just don't know if I'm that strong. Now, enough about Alice and her vision."

"I always bet on Alice," I replied.

"Not this time," he said resolutely. It was clear the subject was closed when he began to ramble on about lighter topics such as the weather, today's agenda, and the menu he had planned for my dinner tonight.

A few minutes later he had an appetizing dish sitting on the table in front of me. In front of him sat a journal. "I finished another notebook last night. It wasn't as heavy as the first one. Still, you suffered more than I had ever thought you would have. How were you able to forgive me for all the pain I caused you?" He caressed my face with his finger.

"Love." I said, standing to go and retrieve a third journal from Edward's luggage. I opened to a page I thought he should hear. "I'd like to read you something. _It's been ten years since you've been gone and not a day goes by that I don't think of you. You are my first thought each day and my last thought each night. I don't have to hide you from my memories anymore. I'm through grieving. "When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end." (Meyer, 2005,Twilight, Preface p.1) I cherish the memories of you now and I am so thankful that I was able to experience the love we shared. Many people will never find the type of love we had for each other. It took me quite a while to finally realize that you left because you loved me. But once I came to that realization, my heart began to repair itself. The missing piece was still there, but the open aching wound started to heal. In my heart, I have been betrothed to you, Edward. I know there will never be another man for me. You will always be the love of my life. "No one's ever loved anyone as much as I love you." (Meyer, 2008, Breaking Dawn, p.753) _

He pulled me close. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" he asked, his voice and eyes both filled with emotion.

"You loved me," I said, tenderly.

The rest of our day was beautiful. Edward took me on a trek around the island and made me a picnic lunch on the beach. We spent the afternoon swimming in the ocean and lying on the sand. I wore one of the skimpy bikinis Alice had packed for me and Edward was definitely having a hard time keeping his eyes off of me. I especially enjoyed watching him try to maintain control when I asked him to rub sunscreen on my back. Throughout our day, I was playfully affectionate and for the most part, he was not shutting me down. After a delicious dinner on the patio, I told Edward that I was getting tired and wanted to start getting ready for bed.

I drew a bath for myself, hoping that Edward would join me. Of course, he turned me down, saying that he didn't think that was such a good idea. When in fact, I'm sure he knew it was an exceptionally great idea. I didn't pressure him to get in, but asked him to keep me company while I bathed. He sat on the marble edge of the tub and talked with me as I soaked in the water. Then I turned on the heat…I lathered myself with soapy bubbles, trying to look sexy as Edward spoke to me. I could see his eyes start to smolder as they followed the movements of my hands. I turned and asked him to wash my back and then to wash my hair. When he finished, I stood and turned the showerhead on to rinse all the bubbles from my skin. He swallowed audibly, taking in the sight of my wet body and held out a fluffy towel for me to step into. I smiled to myself, knowing I was starting to wear on his resolve.

While drying my hair, I heard Edward showering in another bathroom. I considered going to him, but thought better of it and continued on with my original plan. After drying my hair, I padded into the bedroom, and lit dozens of the small tealight candles I had found earlier. When he came back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, I was sitting on the bed waiting for him with the hairbrush in my hand.

"Edward, would you brush my hair again? It felt so good last night." I smiled at him sweetly, holding out the brush to him.

He sat beside me on the bed, brushing my hair gently. When he stopped I stood to face him, letting my towel fall to the floor. I looked him in the eyes and pushed him back on the bed, pressing my lips to his.

He pushed me back slightly, "No, Bella. We can't."

"I say we can." I traced my tongue across his jaw to the hollow beneath his ear. He shuddered slightly.

"No. You're too breakable. It's not safe yet. "

"Mmm," I said, planting soft kisses down his chest. "It's never been safe for me to be with you and yet here I am." I lay on top of him, letting my body melt right into his. My fingers wove through his hair and I kissed him until I had to let up for air.

He was breathing hard when he flipped me onto my back. He rose up on his palms, and looking me in the eyes, said more firmly, "No, Bella…"

"Edward, please. I'm your wife. It's our honeymoon. Don't shut me out," I begged.

His face looked pained, as he considered the risks. I ran my hands over his back, unraveling his towel while I nibbled on the skin of his chest. "Please, Edward."

He made a small growl and with an intensity I wasn't prepared for, he brought his lips down onto mine and kissed me so sensuously I felt like my heart would beat right out of my chest. Electricity flowed through me as his hands memorized my body, igniting sparks wherever he touched. Our breaths were coming in ragged pants, and when I finally thought I couldn't possibly handle much more passion, he took me.

When our breathing had just about returned to normal, we lay facing each other. I felt completely and utterly loved and adored. It was truly one of the most spectacular, intimate moments of my life. I knew this was the perfect time for me to give myself to him fully. "Edward, take me now." I said, gazing at his exquisite face, running my finger softly across his cool lips.

He laughed, huskily. "You are the greedy one tonight. Are you sure you're ready so soon?"

His honey sweet breath blew across my face, intoxicating me, drawing me closer to him. "I've never been more ready." I continued to stare at him while I pushed my long brown hair aside and stroked my neck.

He rose up on his elbow, recognizing what I was really asking for. He shook his head disapprovingly and said, "No, Bella..."

"It's time, Edward. I'm ready. Take me," I said, longingly.

"Are you…sure? I...I'm not certain if I'm strong enough to stop. Carlisle should be with me when…" His topaz eyes told of the confusion he felt inside.

I kissed him passionately, with abandon and he did not push me away. "Change me."

He stared at me for a moment, then cradled me in his arms and slowly bent towards my neck. Lifting his head and looking me in the eyes, he said, "I love you, Bella…more than you'll ever know."

"And I love you." I smiled, and touching his face I said, "See you in forever."

He kissed me gently on the lips, slowly gliding his mouth across my jaw and down to my neck. I could feel him shaking, but as nervous as he was, I was not. This had been something I had wanted for so long…the moment I had been waiting for. I knew there would be pain, Edward had warned me of that. But I knew at the end of that pain, there would be Edward. I felt his cold lips linger on my neck kissing me softly.

"Forever." I heard him say. Then, I felt his teeth on my skin and the burning began. This was my beginning…our beginning of forever…after all these years.

The End

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